Thanksgiving poop

For several days now, I have been undecided on what to write about today: Thanksgiving Day. If not for NaBloPoMo, I would have simply written nothing, and not given it so much as a second thought. However, I don't intend to fail now that I have come this far, so my brain has been on the hunt for a suitable topic all week.

One thing I was sure I did not want to write is an uninteresting directory of intangibles I am thankful for. It's not that I don't take the opportunity at Thanksgiving to reflect solemnly on such things, I just happen to think it would be a boring blog topic because the rest of you are probably feeling thankful for the same things. Not to mention, an unintended smugness often accompanies such public lists, which doesn't resonate with true gratitude, in my humble opinion. I make a concerted effort to be thankful all year long (some days it is easier than others!), so I don't want to cheese it up by making a bullet-point list containing the usual cliches.

So instead, enjoy reading about why this was the "crappiest" Thanksgiving ever.

Shortly after we commenced gorging ourselves on the Thanksgiving spread this afternoon, my brother-in-law Randy made a comment comparing the sizes of some of the grandchildren who are about the same age. The most striking anomaly is his son Kaden, being significantly taller than our niece Shelby, who is almost a year older. Then Randy said, "Madelyn seems to be holding her own against Jack, though," referring to his son who is just 6 weeks older than our Madelyn. "But Jack has definitely out-crapped her today!"

The apparent introduction of poo as an acceptable dinner topic prompted my brother and his wife to begin discussing their recent experience potty training their youngest son. Their graphic account of the difficulties helping him learn to go Number Two on the toilet certainly did not ruin Thanksgiving dinner, but it was just enough to make me slow down my gluttonous shoveling for a few queasy moments.

A couple of hours later, we finally got our under-the-weather and cranky daughter to eat some dinner. While they were playing with some of the other cousins, I heard Gary say to her, "See how much happier you are now that you've had some dinner and taken a poop?"

Happy Thanksgiving!