American Idol Finale: The good, the bad, and the ugly

Whether you were pulling for Adam Lambert or Kris Allen, or even if you had never before seen a minute of American Idol, last week's Season Finale was arguably an unforgettable show.  The abundant guest performers came from the top ranks of stardom, proving that American Idol is recognized as a legitimate musical platform.  It was as diverse a group as could have been imagined: from Rod Stewart to KISS, Fergie to Queen, Cyndi Lauper to Steve Martin. The music was unbelievable, set against a backdrop of mechanical sets and flaming pyrotechnics, with a few nicely construed comedic breaks thrown in for good measure.  Before the winner was ever announced, we were treated to a world-class rock concert.

The two finalists announce alongside Queen that "they are the champions"

But it wasn't all pretty.  Here are my favorite moments of the finale, along with some I would have preferred to do without.

Good: Carlos Santana's genius guitar-riffing highlighted in the center of a circle of idols he accompanied.

Bad: Rod Stewart, just a little too old.

Ugly: Fergie and Black Eyed Peas' hardcore duet had to be bleeped for language. This is a family show!

Ugly: Adam's wire-cage black angel wings?!?!

Good: Okay, once KISS was dramatically lowered onto the stage behind him, it all made sense.  What a lucky bitch to get a chance to sing with those guys.

Bad (maybe the cool kind of bad): Paul Stanley smashed his diamond(?)-encrusted electric guitar against the stage until it broke in two.

I wonder what sort of daily tongue exercise routine these guys have to maintain

Good: Allison Iraheta singing "Time After Time" with Cyndi Lauper, plucking along on her lap guitar. 

Bad: Wish Allison would have sung more and Ms. Lauper a little less. Allison's voice was perfect on this number.

Ugly: Cyndi Lauper sitting spread eagle in those hideous pants.

Good: Did you even know that Steve Martin was a musician? He accompanied a song he wrote on the banjo!

Bad: The undeserving contestants selected to perform Mr. Martin's brainchild were Michael Sarver and Megan Joy Corkery. 

Ugly: I could have happily lived my life without ever hearing Megan Joy sing again. 

Good: Nick Mitchell's "Golden Idol" acceptance: dressed in a black hooded sweatshirt, he professed his regret for not preparing anything because he had no idea he would be coming on stage. Then suddenly he yelled, "Hit it!" and stripped off the sweatshirt to reveal his signature sparkly shirt, allowing us to bask in the glory that is Norman Gentle one last time. So endearing.

Bad: Bikini Girl's "Golden Idol" acceptance: the fact that they even allowed that girl anywhere near the show again makes my blood boil.  Her disgusting fake-baked body strutted out in a shiny new bikini, with some shiny new implants to fill it out. YUCK! 

Good: They let Bikini Girl (Katrina Darrell) sing, and she was truly awful. And then. And THEN Kara Dioguardi, the judge whose sing-off with this contestant at her despicable audition kicked off the drama, waltzed down the staircase behind Miss Darrell, microphone in hand.  As Randy Jackson might say, Kara's got some pipes, dawg! Bikini Girl kept her composure and tried to keep singing along (interviews confirm that Kara's upstaging appearance was a complete surprise to Darrell).  But wait. There's more! Along with her final note, Kara ripped open the modest black dress she wore to reveal a set of tight abs in a black bikini, all in a healthy shade of pasty white.  The best part is that Kara exposed herself only because Ryan seacrest dared her with a promised donation to her favorite charity.  After her shocking reveal, Kara quickly covered up, looking embarrassed, showing Bikini Girl and the rest of the world that sometimes a little modesty is more sexy than half an ounce of string wrapped around fake, orange softballs. Sweet, sweet satisfaction.

Ugly: Tatiana del Toro's "Golden Idol" acceptance: Ryan Seacrest feigned being out of time and needing break for commercial, informing Tatiana that she wouldn't be able to sing.  The diva ran on stage, grabbed her trophy, and sang her song with two security guards half-heartedly chasing her around.  This actually would have been hilarious if it were real, but clearly it was a cheesy part of the act and she was in on it.

After 2 hours and 7 minutes of suspense (What am I saying? I was so entertained I practically forgot we were waiting for results!), Kris Allen was crowned the winner of American Idol, Season Eight.  He appeared to be the most shocked person in the room, and spent the next two minutes looking down, shaking his head, and even pointing at Adam as if to say, "he deserves this more." This might have been irritating, except I can't think of anyone whose humility has ever seemed more genuine. 

The good news is that both singers are destined to work in the music industry, at least for the near future.  Kris' win was viewed as sort of an "upset," but I wasn't surprised at all.  I wouldn't have been surprised if Adam had won, either, because they were both incredible performers.  But you cannot underestimate the importance of Kris' universal appeal versus Adam's very outlandish flamboyancy. Even I preferred Adam earlier on, but toward the end people start thinking about whose CD they would actually buy (how dated--I should say: whose singles they would actually download), and who they want to hear on the radio, not just who is fun to watch on stage with all of the theatrics of television.  Plus, I believe Danny Gokey had a strong Christian following.  After his departure, where do you think those votes went?

The results may not have provided any big surprise, but the rest of the finale show was full of them, which made it very entertaining.  An apt conclusion to a very fun season full of talent.

American Idol Top 7 through 3

I slacked off on my very important duty of keeping everyone in the world up to date concerning what happened on American Idol and my related opinions.  Sorry about that, but here is a brief recap of the past 4 weeks. 

First of all, there has been only one error in my prediction of eliminations made in early April: Lil and Anoop were voted off on the same night (after Matt was saved by the judges the previous week), then Matt un-shockingly went home next, exactly as I stated would happen. The top four presented a more delicate challenge, in that every remaining contestant not only boasted worthy talent and star-quality, but each one was recognizably unique. I can imagine singles on the radio from any of this year's top four, and their stark differences in performance-styles made the group very fun to watch.

My error was in previously predicting that Danny would go home before Allison, but in reality the order was reversed.  Otherwise my forecast was spot-on, and we will be treated to a duel between the flamboyant, screaming, often sparkly Adam Lambert and the humble, guitar/piano-playing pretty boy Kris Allen.  Remember Kris is the one who was as shocked as the rest of the country when he was ushered into the Top 13 during the early elimination rounds. 

Several weeks ago, I was swayed by Adam's marvelously distinctive arrangements and sultry, soft ballads.  But I've since boldly moved into the Kris Allen camp. For one thing, Adam has unapologetically returned to screechy rock songs, and while I still appreciate the proficiency of his skills, his screamy voice is not as appealing to me as his dreamy voice.  I was horrified by his butchering of the Aerosmith classic "Cryin'" last week.  In addition, I've decided that I would be more apt to listen to the style of music most likely to be recorded by Kris on the radio than the type that Adam will eventually record.  I imagine they will both be outfitted with satisfying record-deals, no matter who earns the most votes this week.  Lastly, I prefer Kris' genuine dumbfounded humility to Adam's grateful, yet not-entirely-surprised-to-be-in-the-finals demeanor.  Having said all that, Adam will make a better rock star than Kris, and probably any prior American Idol contestant ever.  He definitely possesses a certain showmanship.

After America's Favorite Singer is bestowed his title this Wednesday, we get to move enthusiastically on to the search for America's Favorite Dancer on So You Think You Can Dance, a show that (since watching it for the first time last year) I find significantly more entertaining than American Idol.  Sorry.  Let's get the two remaining AI episodes out of the way before I get too excited about the dancers!

American Idol Top 7

I'm writing my American Idol recap a day late on purpose this time: I decided last week that I liked being able to comment on the results as well as the performances, even if it means the originality of my predictions may be subject to scrutiny. Whatever.

"Songs from the Movies" might just be my favorite theme so far. In addition to witnessing Quentin Tarantino actually provide constructive criticism (a refreshing challenge to every other celebrity mentor's "That sounded great!" broken record), we weren't forced to sit through any painfully boring songs. Unfortunately, the evening was also devoid of any spectacular performances. Even my usual favorites fell a little flat: Allison Iraheta's "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith was a perfect choice, but she just didn't sing it that well. The message coming across to me was, "Obviously I am an awesome rockstar, so correct pitch and emotional connection to the song aren't necessary." Even Adam Lambert, while technically proficient, didn't add anything extraordinary to "Born to be Wild." I guess I prefer his startling softer side to the rock and roll which he more clearly embodies.

Kris Allen brought out that softer side I love with the beautiful Glen Hansard song, "Falling Slowly." His was my favorite performance, of a great song I don't hear often enough.

The difference between Danny Gokey's performance this week and last week is...um...nothing. Danny certainly brings an admirable level of consistency to the competition. He always sounds good, but he always sounds the same.

I expected Anoop Desai to follow his established pattern and fail miserably after he did well last week, but was pleasantly surprised with his controlled rendition of Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do," a song notoriously easy to karaokify.

Likewise, I wasn't expecting much from Lil Rounds, but I thought her gospel-infused version of "The Rose" made the song more interesting and showed more artistry than she has brought to the stage for many weeks. She is still my least favorite contestant, but I thought her performance was better than the judges gave her credit for. I thought it might be enough to save her until she fought to squeeze in her opinionated defense after the judges' comments. That is always an unattractive move, made more distasteful by the blatant disregard for Ryan's urgent reminder that the show had already gone over-time.

Matt Giraud also performed Bryan Adams, and also sounded quite good. But without having established a fan base as solid as Adam or Danny's, however, I felt that Matt's sentence to the bottom 3 this week was a distinct possibility. I would have preferred to see Lil Rounds pack her bags, but Matt received the lowest number of votes, which earned him the opportunity to "sing for his life" based on this year's new ultra-exciting rule twist: the "Judge's Save." The elite panel gets one opportunity to veto America's votes if believed to be "wrong." The problem with such a prospect at this stage in the competition is that everyone is pretty darn good...but each week someone inevitably must go.

Matt's do-over--possibly his last chance to sing on the American Idol stage--was unrecognizable. Granted he awkwardly sang it from outside the safe haven of his piano bench, but vocally it was a disaster. It wasn't a big surprise to me that the judges opted to use their one saving grace for Matt. He has been one of the girls' favorites from the very beginning despite the fact that his performances have been inconsistent, and he has yet to bring anything spectacular to the stage. Their decision to keep him around another week could not have possibly been based on his supposedly life-saving performance, because if it had been his first audition, we would never have seen him in Hollywood.

We'll enjoy the likes of this same Top 7 once again next week, but because of this not-so-shocking twist, two of them will see their fate sealed by the public vote (or lack thereof). What remains to be seen is whether the judges' save did anything more than prolong the inevitable.

American Idol Top 8

I watched both the American Idol performances and results in succession last night, so my tardy review allows me to discuss both aspects of this week's show.

Nearly every bit of television entertainment I watch is recorded on our DVR. Even when I want to watch American Idol on the correct night, I'll wait until at least 30 minutes past showtime before starting to watch so I can fast-forward through the commercials. I know I am not alone, and I also know that people like us make advertisers very angry. But don't you worry, they'll find other ways to reach us. I'm already noticing changes to the commercials themselves which seem to make an impact even on fast-forward, or contain images that are designed to make you want to rewind and watch it. The evolution of advertising.

Anyway, the reason I mention this is that Tuesday night's show went into overtime--perhaps because a little too much time was spent making not-very-funny jokes about the judges' and Ryan Seacrest's baby photos at the beginning--and the DVR entirely missed recording the final performance. This spot in the lineup happened to belong to one Adam Lambert, the performance I most look forward to each week because it is always by far the most interesting. I was very disappointed.

Thank goodness for YouTube, then, as moments ago I was able to sneak a peek at the performance which I understand received only a standing ovation from Simon Cowell himself, in lieu of any adjudication from the judges, as the clock ticked into Fringe's season premiere. Simply put, Adam Lambert is a brilliant artist, talented vocalist, and hasn't made a wrong choice yet as far as I'm concerned. Take a listen to this, and remember that it comes from the same man who sang that insane arrangement of Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire (I re-posted audio-only since the video was removed).

Delicious.

The rest of the contestants were okay--no other standouts this week in my opinion. Even Kris Allen's performance really fell flat. It was just kind of sloppy, and really boring. Matt Giraud's song also seemed off to me, but the judges loved it. Danny Gokey managed to make "Stand by Me," a relatively boring song, interesting by choosing a creative arrangement. Anoop bounced back from last week's trainwreck with a soft ballad, "True Colors." He was technically proficient, but the song was yawn-worthy.

Allison did justice to a great song, "I Can't Make You Love Me." Her voice is recognizably unique, which is more than I can say about Lil Rounds. She would be a great backup singer, because she can sing in tune and hit big, high notes, but to me, she just doesn't stand out as a star soloist. Scott MacIntyre isn't good enough to sell albums either. But he took a big leap and moved away from his comfortable piano bench, accompanying himself with an electric guitar this week. I thought that might have been just the right bold move to keep this sight-impaired contestant around for another week, but it turns out I was wrong.

Scott got the boot last night (although softened by Paula Abdul's heartfelt speech to his inspirational journey), with Anoop and Lil by his side in the bottom three. Surprisingly, this was Lil's first time in the bottom three (but I doubt she'll be able to escape it anymore). Anoop, on the other hand, is no stranger to those uncomfortable silver stools.

The problem immediately facing Anoop Desai is that his likability is waning, and that quality alone rescued him from some very poor performances. After each mistake, he manages to rebound with a performance worthy of redemption, only to throw it away again the following week. The emerging predictability of this pattern leads me to believe we can expect another bomb next week. And I don't mean that in the context of "da bomb."

But last night while he stood next to Scott, awaiting Ryan's pronouncement of their respective fates, Anoop did a very poor job of disguising his anger at us viewers for not having voted for him. Maybe he was just mad at himself, but his evident frustration came across as arrogance, which is unbecoming to say the least. Contrasted with Scott's beaming smile--happy to have simply been a part of such an amazing journey--the effect Anoop's expression had on his consumer appeal was intensified. Apparently there was also buzz about him talking back to the judges last week, and anyone who had forgotten or might not have noticed (that's me) was made full aware when Ryan Seacrest asked Anoop about it Tuesday night, basically forcing him to apologize on stage before his performance. This all adds up to a risky situation for Anoop, so he'd better pull himself together. If he can't lose the ambiance of conceit, he'd better step up some serious game on the singing front.

The remaining 7 contestants are easily divided: Lil, Anoop, and Matt will all leave the competition before Danny, Adam, Kris, and Allison. I believe Adam will be in the final showdown, but I can see him accompanied by any of those remaining three. My official prediction at this point for order of elimination is: Anoop, Lil, Matt, Danny, Allison--leaving Kris and Adam to battle for the title. But my opinion could easily change as the weeks progress.

While we're talking about results for the first time, I want to say that I am so happy that Megan Corkery was finally released from her unfortunate position in the top 10. That girl brought shame to the organization and all it stands for. It seemed as if she knew that on the night she was sent home. The only person I do wish was still around is Alexis Grace. That cute little blondie with the big voice could take Lil's place and I would be very pleased.

American Idol Top 9

I swear I have no intentions for Beyond Mommy to become an American Idol blog. Since my husband recently started working a job with long hours rendering me a full-time working-at-home-mother with a business to run, I have been left with very few moments to spend blogging, and when the free time does manifest itself, my brain is so far from creative writing mode that I've been unable to focus any meaningful thought into comprehensible prose. So here we are again with my opinions on Fox Reality TV, since my OCD won't allow me to abandon this series of posts I began.

Predicting the bottom three after tonight's show should be easier than making a blonde laugh on Saturday.*

To my humble little ears, Megan Joy's voice sounds like nails on a blackboard, the agony only intensifying every week. The judges only prattled on about her disappointing song choice though, instead of cluing her in to the fact that she cannot sing! Why am I the only one who knows this?!?

Anoop sang a song by Usher that half of the audience has probably never heard and won't enjoy. I really like Anoop. On top of his singing talent, I am always left with a faint impression that he could have been Peter Gibbons' third cohort at Initech. His little hip-hop motif on stage tonight authenticated the Office Space persona for me, distinctly conjuring images of the three software programmers bashing the hell out of an old copy machine in a vacant lot to the tune of "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta." Hilarious? Yes. Legitimate? No.

Matt Giraud got the next worst comments from the judges, once again focusing on his poor song choice. I agree that it was ludicrous to select a song by The Fray which was so reminiscent of his horrendous Cold Play rendition that cost him his first chance at getting voted through to the Top 12. But he sang tonight's song far better, and I wish the judges would let go of the song choice issue once in a while and give some feedback on what the singer did with the song he or she chose. It's true that this genre isn't Matt's best match, and the judges made no mistake in conveying that message, but if this is the kind of music he wants to sing, let America decide whether or not he should. Kara is right, however, in stating that Matt does not deserve to go home.

On that note, neither does Anoop, based on what we've seen him accomplish in the past. After Megan, my next choice to go home would be Lil Rounds. Last week I felt it was time to bid adieu to Scott MacIntyre, but this week he made all the right choices. Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are" with nothing but Scott, a spotlight, and the shiny black Yamaha (which Ryan Seacrest has repeatedly referred to as the "baby grand" despite the fact that it is over 7 feet long) perfectly highlighted his vocals this week without the distractions that I believe have caused him to lose mental focus in the past, affecting the precision of his intonation and pitch. The judges were pleasantly surprised at Lil's Celine Dion copycat, but my assessment is far from glowing. She struggled to find the correct key a couple of times, and overused the screaming powerhouse voice without giving it proper dynamic balance.

My four favorites still won the competition tonight, but I can easily place two at the very top. The issue I'm having with Danny Gokey is that he is producing a nearly identical performance each week. It isn't getting any worse, it just isn't getting any more interesting. I also thought the range of the Rascal Flatts number was too wide, as the lower register was not well-supported (again), yet it would have been a strain to hit any higher than the top of that key.

Alison Iraheta killed it once again on "Don't Speak," and I appreciated a slightly more subdued choice without losing her rockstar edge. Usually Simon Cowell is the only judge bold enough to ridicule a contestant's choice of wardrobe (especially a girl's), but the meek and stuttering Randy Jackson started the panel on a tirade against her (admittedly horrific) ensemble. I hated the dress as much as any of them, but I was baffled that not one of them mentioned the absurdity of her guitar prop. When she came out with the axe around her neck, we were all surprised and excited to hear this punk jam on her electric guitar. She plucked a few soft chords for her intro, then violently swung it around her back , grabbed the mic, and allowed the band to accompany the rest of the song. I was left yearning for more, but believing that she must lack the skill to provide it, and thus should have simply left it out altogether. Because after the intro she looked rather silly with a guitar strapped to the back of her poofy dress. The whole thing was confusing, but thankfully she really did sing well, and this is a singing competition after all.

Which leads us to the highlights of the night: Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. It amazes me that Kris' entrance to the competition was kind of a shocker, yet he has not once failed to impress. I absolutely loved his "Ain't No Sunshine," and we got to see him behind a keyboard instead of guitar this week, which just adds another succulent layer to his tiramisu of talent. The reason I can see him rising above the entertaining Mr. Lambert is the fact that he has universal appeal. Right now we love anticipating what inimitable mark Adam will leave on the stage each week. But at the very end, when people start deciding which performances they would actually download to their iPod, I think Kris might beat Adam based on a wider circle of influence. On the other hand, it may be Kris' conventional talent that ultimately resigns him to being just another really good singer, giving Adam the edge as he has proven to be so much more.

At this point, I'm rooting for these two boys in the finale, but my verdicts are based on performances alone, so no alliances are promised. But if Megan continues to escape her deserved fate, I may have some harsh words for a little website called votefortheworst.com because they are seriously pissing me off (to the extent that one can take Reality TV seriously).



*Just tell her a joke on Saturday! Do people even tell blonde jokes anymore?

American Idol Top 10

Most of my readers don't even care about American Idol, but several have provided pleasant feedback about my assessments in spite of their lack of interest in the show. I am unable to fulfill my self-imposed duty of informing a tiny corner of the internet populace with my opinion of last night's American Idol. Thankfully, my husband shared with me the following article which I will provide here as a substitution for my own words. Most of her opinions echo my own, and the writing is far better than what I could muster today, so please read it and enjoy!

Motown Makes for an Easy Bottom 3 on 'American Idol'
Thursday, March 26, 2009 By Diane Macedo

It was off to Detroit for "American Idol" this week as the Top 10 took a shot at Motown classics. With the theme announced last week, I was expecting it to be great for some contestants and not so great for others. Having seen them perform, I have to say my assessment was correct … I just happened to have my contestants switched.

One of the people I thought would have a hard time this week was Adam Lambert because I was expecting him to come out with some kind of rock-poser version of his Motown hit. Instead he ditched the cotton candy hair and black nail polish and came out looking like Elvis and singing like Smokey Robinson. Simon dubbed it the best performance of the night, as did I.

But that was of course before we’d seen Allison Iraheta kill it on “Papa Was a Rolling Stone.” Allison was another contestant I thought might be hurt by the week’s theme but she showed just how far song choice and soul can take you in this competition. Though I do agree with Paula’s critique from last week: we already know she can rock out with the best of them, it’s time for her to show us that she can sing softly too.

Stepping out of her comfort zone could end up working well for Allison, unlike Paula, who I think stepped a little too far into her comfort zone, and as result catapulted me out of mine. She was crawling under tables; she compared Matt Giraud to a great old pair of jeans; and I’m not sure what she was implying when she told Seacrest she was hiding something ‘under her skirt,’ but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.

Simon had his own little uncomfortable moment telling Megan Corkery that whoever is advising her should be fired. Um … wouldn’t that be the week’s mentor, Smokey Robinson, who was sitting five feet away from him? Awkwarrrrrd. [I, Kristen, completely disagree with the author's comments here, since I can tell the weekly mentors show up the day of performances and provide a few sound bytes...they have little to nothing to do with the contestants' choices and performances.]

Though there were a few moments in there where I thought maybe Smokey should have been fired. It’s like the guy was allergic to criticism. I mean he told both Megan Corkery and Scott MacIntyre to not change a single thing with their performances. I rest my case.

Just once it would be nice to see a mentor flatly tell a contestant that they should stop butchering the melody of a great song (Michael Sarver), or that they shouldn’t sing a certain song and then help them pick a better one – THAT would be some real guidance.

And it’s the kind of guidance that could have done wonders for Lil Rounds. As Kara said, with Motown as the theme, this was supposed to be Lil’s week, but, like Simon said, the soulful diva missed the opportunity to have a real ‘moment’ on the show by picking a song that was way too fast-paced and didn’t give her the opportunity to show off her voice.

So where was Smokey on that one? Too busy telling Lil that she “could sing the phonebook.” Sorry Smokey, they already have a fourth judge.

But I did think that Smokey was spot on when he told Danny Gokey to sing both parts of the verses in “Get Ready.” And after Danny gave this whole speech about how Smokey’s a legend and clearly knows better so he was just going to trust him … he didn’t do it.

How can we motivate mentors to offer advice if we’re going to ignore them when they finally do? Work with me people!

I still liked Danny’s performance though, but not as much as I thought I was going to. Like Lil, I thought Danny was going to really shine this week. And like Lil, he did fine, but fell a little flat. Though despite loving how Matt, Anoop and Adam were flaunting their falsettos, it was nice to hear one of the guys singing like a guy — and doing it well.

Whatever Danny’s flaws they came nowhere near the fumbles of Scott singing “Can’t Hurry Love” (or his performance, unfortunately), Megan howling “For Once in My Life” or Michael managing to ruin may favorite song of the night: “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.”

If American gets it right these will be our bottom three tonight and Michael will finally go home. I just hope this time I don’t have my contestants switched.


by Diane Macedo, original article can be found here.

American Idol Top 11

We've entered unprecedented territory, here folks. It is the second week of the American Idol finals and I'm actually not sure who will prevail in the top five positions. Naturally, the votes are never guaranteed, but it always very clear to me who SHOULD be there. At this stage in the competition, it is at least pretty clear who won't be moving forward, but after a set of stellar performances last night, I'm having trouble just deducing who will go home this week. I have yet to select my own favorite this season because with each performance my opinion shifts and evolves.

Such an admission is made more peculiar by its timing: "Country Week" is historically known to separate the true artists from the bunch who can copy Shania's twang like the rest of us. Like usual, the ones who stood out are those whose performance of a song originally rooted in the genre made me completely forget it might have ever been sung under a cowboy hat.

Certainly the best example of this feat came boldly--but not surprisingly--from Adam Lambert. His dark flamboyance would stick out in Nashville like a drag queen in kindergarten. His Middle Eastern-inspired, sitar-infused rendition of "Ring of Fire" gave me chills! It left the judges feeling somewhere between confused (Kara) and appalled (Simon), but I loved it. You just have to take a taste:



While Adam's performance may have offered a blatant affront to the life's work this week's mentor (Randy Travis suppressed his disapproval respectably), the others who chose not to worship the steel guitar earned rave reviews. Anoop sang "You're Always on my Mind," which may ignite a conspiracy theory involving a stunt double performing last week's "Beat It" trainwreck. His redemption, fully deserved, reminds us why his beautiful voice and sincere disposition are here. Kris Allen sang a Garth Brooks song that I had never heard, but his controlled, straight solo never even hinted at country music. This ballad gave a perfect balance to last week's upbeat performance, showcasing his range of skills. I would suggest that Alison Iraheta take a lesson from Kris, and change it up soon, because we've now seen the same basic act from her three times in a row.

On the other hand, sometimes what ain't broke need not be fixed. Lil Rounds decided to abandon her R&B style and pay homage to the Grand Ole Opry with a slightly twangy Martina McBride number. I dislike country music only slightly less than R&B, but I think she probably would have done more for her cause in the competition (i.e. to win) by appealing to to her fan base. It is important to show a range of skills, as I described above. In fact, I hope Scott MacIntyre will find a way to branch out of his piano-accompanied ballads if he can. But one can't overestimate his or her capabilities (perhaps Alison should keep doing her upbeat rock songs), and people who like Lil are going to like that style. The contestants who thrive tend to use the genre to their advantage without being a completely different singer each week. That unpredictability is more confusing than Adam completely in-character (not to mention impeccably performed) creativity and intensity.

Matt Giraud sounded awesome at the piano again with a song I didn't recognize, and Danny Gokey was right at home on Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel." Unfortunately, the opening verse was rocky; I sensed a disconnect with the band until he opened up at the big chorus. Storytelling songs require varying levels, but the verse needed more support. Danny has been one of the surefire contenders for the finale, but a performance like this among so many outstanding vocals makes me less sure. No matter what happens on American Idol, there are millions of wholesome teens who would rush out and buy his Christian Rock album.

We heard "Jolene" performed last year by another petite blondie, Brooke White, but thankfully Alexis Grace offers us a far superior vocal talent. She remains my favorite of the four females in the competition. Poor little Megan Joy Corkery was afflicted with influenza this week, but you really wouldn't have known it until she started hacking during the judges commentary. I just can't bring myself to enjoy her whiny vocal style and strange inflections as much as the panel seems to. I'll give her unique. But good and unique are not the same in my book.

The one true country boy, Michael Sarver, didn't do himself any favors with "Ain't Goin' Down Till the Sun Comes Up" by Garth Brooks. The jam-packed lyrics demand so much concentration that he couldn't relax and perform the song. And when the words have to be spouted so quickly, the singing gets excruciatingly sloppy. But all the country kids will love it, so even though he went first, I think Michael might be safe. Thus based on the singing, the next person to deserve a ticket home is Lil. Or as the always-proper British judge kept inadvertently calling her, "Little."

American Idol Top 13

Making American Idol history, the judges selected four contestants from last week's Wild Card round to complete the show's first-ever top 13. I would have taken their expansion of the anticipated dozen as a way to get one more week of the big advertisers' bucks, except that no additional show will be aired to make way for Number 13. Instead, we'll be saying farewell to not one, but two contestants during tonight's results show.

This news pleases me. In fact, I wouldn't mind terribly speeding up the elimination process this way for the first few weeks. The standouts who will form the top six typically become apparent early, so the first several weeks of dropping the less-qualified performers can be a tedious process until we reach a group who each equally stand a chance at earning the title. That's when the show gets more interesting, but there are two significant problems with such a plan. One I already mentioned: the big advertisers' bucks. More shows equals more money, and there is no way around that. Secondly, sometimes the best singers do not get the most votes. The reality that your own favorite could be eliminated keeps the anticipation high each week, which is of course what Reality Television is fundamentally based on. It would be unfortunate to lose one of the best because he or she was in second-to-last place one week when the voters got lazy.

An unexpected twist this year is that I'm finding it more difficult to draw the line between those who truly deserve to be singing their finale pick under the fluttering confetti and balloons and those who don't, even this early in the game. I have my personal favorites, yes, but last night nearly every contestant came out fighting for their chance by admittedly singing well. Since all but a slim few have a heartwarming back story, the votes will be difficult to predict. Does most of America relate to the single mothers or the 16-year-old belters? The widower or the vision-impaired? The blue-collared worker or the rocker waiting for his break in LA? Since the performances last night were technically proficient almost across the board, I believe the phones will be dialed according to the pseudo-relationships that the past two months of carefully orchestrated build-up have cultivated.

Which leaves contestants like Matt Giraud and Kris Allen without non-musically-based footing in the competition. They can both sing their butts off (thankfully Matt was given a second chance after his painfully horrid Cold Play rendition), but must survive without the tear-jerking montage which paves the way for so many of the others. In fact, we were made privy to the existence of beautiful Mr. Allen's Mrs. during last night's show, so he rapidly lost some of his appeal as eye candy. No offense to his lovely (and newlywed) wife, but for the sake of his shot at stardom, I believe she should have remained in the shadows for at least a few more shows until the voting public realized that they could love him as much for his vocal talent as they could for the pure enjoyment of seeing his sparkling eyes light up the stage.

Thematic options for the evening were selected from Michael Jackson's musical catalog. Anoop Desai's copycat version of "Beat It" duly received the most criticism. I loved that Paula Abdul seemed excited that she received her first "boo" from the crowd after she explained that this song "belongs to the consummate artist, and anything else sounds karaoke." Her analysis was certainly apt, but "consummate?" I swear Paula has been doing some vocabulary-building exercises, and possibly joined Toastmasters over the summer, because the girl sounds supremely more coherent and professional than she ever has. The change may well have been motivated by some understandable jealousy toward the new, younger, and very well-spoken judge, Kara. Whatever the reason, I like the new intelligible Paula. Now it's Randy Jackson I have to fight the urge to fast-forward over. "You know what I mean, dawg?"

Back to the predictions, Anoop was a head below the rest of the competition in both vocal performance and stage presence. But I wouldn't be too surprised if he survives this round. For one thing, people really like him and he has shown his great voice in the past. Also, people tend to give pity votes to the people who had a rough time or got reamed by the judges. Especially this early when it isn't yet about whose album you actually intend to buy.

More likely, I think we'll hear farewell songs from the talented yet forgettable performers of the night. I would place Lil Rounds, Michael Sarver, and Jasmine Murray at the top of that category. Lil has been touted as one of the best thus far, but not only was her performance incredibly dull, she sang first. During such a lengthy procession, the first one is easy to forget, and she didn't stand out. Plus, anyone who comes home late and picks up the show in the middle missed her entirely, and I doubt she is one who will get votes just because she is Lil Rounds. Which I think is the case for Scott McIntyre (the piano-playing blind man), Danny Gokey (the Christian widower), and Adam Lambert (a darker, yet more effeminate version of David Cook).

I also enjoyed the rockstar-style performances from Alexis Grace and Alison Iraheta, and Megan Joy Corkery's quirky voice actually worked while she sang "Rockin' Robin." Jorge Nunez' version of "Never Can Say Goodbye" would have been perfect in a retirement home's activity lounge, but American Idol would be better off without that level of cheese.

In addition to learning which two individuals are doomed to the ranks of forgotten American Idol hopefuls, a mysterious "change in rules" will reportedly be unveiled tonight. Simon Cowell hinted that it "involves us" (the judges), so shall we assume that the judges have some sort of overruling power if they don't agree with America's votes or something? That would essentially reduce the viewers' role in the contest to nil, so it can't be that. Maybe tonight we'll have a chance to vote for our favorite judge, and the loser has to sing. Or won't be back for Season 9. Hm. We'll see.

Wild Card Dream Team

I believe the Wild Card contestants will be announced tonight on American Idol. These dozen singers have already endured the humiliation and dejection of being sent home, but will come back clinging to one last thread of hope. Hope that they won't have to suffer the same fate again so soon.

These are the people I want to see on the Wild Card show. I hope someone over there at AI pays attention!

1. David Osmond: Yes he is one of them. And yes he does have an unbelievable voice and is pretty easy on the eyes as well. David was cut during the first episode in Hollywood, with no more explanation than a clip showing his sullen face walking off stage. Since we didn't even hear his group's performance, I can only assume he forgot the lyrics (since Simon decreed forgetting the words to be an automatic ticket home). Then when people who hummed half a song or stormed off stage when their mind went blank moved ahead, I had to assume something else was up. I want answers.

2. Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle: I want to see more of this. Entertain us, American Idol!

3. Ricky Braddy: An unknown contestant with a purely pristine voice.

4. Jamar Rogers: I think Danny Gokey's best friend, the one who supported him through his wife's recent passing and demonstrated at least equal talent throughout the competition, was excluded from the top 36 for dramatic effect, heightening the excitement when he is put through on the Wild Card show. That's what I think.

5. Anoop Desai: The performance that sealed his fate was utterly unremarkable, but we've heard his worthy pipes before.

6. Mishavonna Henson: She's cute and she can sing. I'm running out of people I care to see again.

7. Kristen McNamara: Assuming she doesn't move ahead from last night's votes (I haven't watched the show yet).

Those are the people I would actually care to see return for another shot. Here are a few more that I predict will be coming back:

8. Jackie Tohn: This girl's personality grates on my nerves a little, but she would definitely stand out in the crowd. Offering a unique sound is worth a lot in this game. I predict she will be Randy Jackson's pick.

9. Megan Joy Corkery: I hated her song last week. But the judges seem to love her, so I think they will bring her back.

10. Matt Giraud: While his vocals were horrid last week, I know he seriously impressed in Hollywood, so maybe he'll get another shot to prove himself tomorrow.

11. Scott MacIntyre or Jorge Nunez: Whichever of these two doesn't move forward tonight should be called back for the Wild Card show.

12. I wonder if Simon will invite Bikini Girl back to the stage. If that chick defines the word despicable, then one far worse is needed to describe the male judges' encouragement and the female judges' allowance of such a disgrace. American Idol's shameless promotion of the entire spectacle was truly appalling. I would say it did the enterprise a disservice, only I'm sure the wake of press created was well worth a few unread angry letters and feminist internet outcries. Maybe if I ditch a flaming bag of poo on Fox's doorstep the approach might be reconsidered. Hmmm.

The third dozen: fairly forgettable

My predictions for best male and female last week were right on, just as with the first group. But the third spot was a shocker for everyone. And probably for no one more than Kris Allen himself. I thought he did a great job, but didn't expect him to take the vote. I am excited to hear more of his voice on some better songs, though. I knew my choices for #3 during the last two weeks wouldn't go through, and stated such in my recap. I don't think this week will break that pattern.

It wasn't a particularly bad night for American Idol. But the nine contestants who will bid adieu to the cameras and lights tomorrow night will be forgotten before the stage has been swept. I didn't particularly hate anyone's performance, but there were a slim few that I connected with on a level deeper than, "that was nice."

As I understand it, the final three voter-selected spots in the Top Twelve go to tonight's guy and gal with the most votes, and the person with the next-highest votes. I believe the remaining three slots will be filled by the judges as part of the Wild Card show on Thursday. As usual, here is my relatively unimportant take on what transpired this evening on American Idol:


1. Lil Rounds: They saved the best for last, of course. Lil closed the show with a powerhouse vocal, which leads me to believe the folks behind AI just don't care about any suspicions that they manipulate the public to vote for their educated favorites. Not only by having her sing last, which I have already mentioned is practically a guaranteed golden ticket (worked during the last two weeks already), but also the judges' gushing praise. Their comments exuded only positive, to the extent that they might as well have been reading from a script. Which might have been necessary if they were as distracted from her singing as my couch-partner. Truth be told, I could hardly hear Lil's Mary J. Blige over my husband's awestruck curiosity at the wonder that is Lil Round's "big round." Admittedly, it's impressive. Gary mused that if we looked up "badonkadonk" on wikipedia, there would be a picture of "that." If only I knew how to spell badonkadonk, we could check. I don't dare dirty my internet cache with that term, but you go right ahead. Anyway, the girl can sing, and she has shown herself to be an adorable mother of three, which you know people relate to. So I think she'll roll on forward.

2. Scott MacIntyre: Although definitely in the top three of the guys, he wasn't actually the best singer of the night. Scott is legally blind, which in itself is a pretty incredible back story. No one wants to not vote for the blind guy. More importantly, the passion flowing through his vocal instrument is profound, and the judges keep assuring us that once he gets behind his piano we'll fall deeper in love. So I think people will vote to see that.

3. Kristen McNamara: You might remember Kristen from such blog posts as this one about my hair, where I posted a photo from her first audition. Tonight she attempted to fool us into believing that her stylist "accidentally" gave her purple hair and she was so embarrassed. Whatever, Kristen. We know that's not true, and anyway, I liked it. So, in precisely the same situation as the last two weeks, I don't actually believe that my third choice will win the vote, but Kristen was my next favorite. And not just because we share a name, but because her version of "Gimme One Reason to Stay Here" was creative and fun. She looks like an absolute natural on stage, which is a breath of fresh air in these early rounds while we whittle away the wannabe's. Unfortunately, the judges completely disagreed with my opinion, and the lemmings usually follow them.

4. Jorge Nunez: I don't know how to make the little squiggle over the n to make it a Spanish "enyay." As in Horhay Noonyez. He'll probably take the third place because he is different, has a good voice, and is refreshingly humble. The Puerto Rican young man belted out Elton John's "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me," a perfect choice for a vocal competition if you've got the pipes for it. In earlier auditions, we heard the judges criticizing Jorge because his accent bled through too much. At the time I thought that was at least condescending if not downright prejudiced, and tonight I felt his attempt to mask the latin accent sounded all wrong. Simon must have thought so, too, because he stepped up to the P.C. plate and admitted they were remiss to have told him to train away his natural inflection, but only after Paula blatantly attributed his smooth sound to adopting their advice and his excellent work with the dialect coach. Nice.

5. Ju'Not Joyner: When his song was first introduced, I was less than thrilled, since we all heard Plain White T's' "Hey There Delilah" about a hundred and sixty-three times too many a few months ago (and I actually like the song). But he softened up the tone so distinctly and took some creative risks that I felt really paid off for his silky voice.

6. Felicia Barton: She seemed to be fighting harder than nearly anyone else. This is likely attributable to the fact that she already took that long, misty-eyed flight home once, only to be recalled as a replacement for a contestant who was deemed ineligible. Felicia has a big voice, but it cracked on a few of the powerful notes. She also looks a lot like Jim Halpert's ex-girlfriend, Karen, and that doesn't work for me. I just love Pam too much.

7. Von Smith: I was shocked when he was invited to come to Hollywood in the first place, and his voice was still strangely grating when he got there. Tonight I thought he did an excellent job, but the song was very boring. I don't even remember what it was. He also sang first, the guillotine position of American Idol lineup, so his vast improvement won't get him through. I think Von was meant to be a 1920's newsie. I can see him wearing suspenders and a plaid newsboy hat, shining shoes for a nickel.

8. Alex Wagner-Trugman: The judges were too hard on Alex. This competition is way out of his league, sure, but he poured his heart and soul into this Elton John rendition, and they kind of teased him as if he were Norman Gentle, who is dorky on purpose. I put Alex in 8th position because these last 5 contestants are equally mediocre, but Alex is at least hilarious! My favorite part was when they showed a clip of Simon telling Alex during Hollywood Week that he would rate his personality as a 9 and his voice as a 3. Then cut back to Alex's interview where he says, very matter-of-factly, "I can only assume that both of those were on a scale of 3." Ah, now that's comedy. And he's just this adorbale little nerd who reminds me a lot of an old friend Mike Bush, whom some of you know.

9. Taylor Vaifanua: I read somewhere a while back that this girl was a "plant" in the auditions: someone that the record label-people (or whoever comprises the "powers that be" of American Idol) want to be successful and so they "encourage" them to audition and then make sure they get through. That doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, because if a record-producer wanted an individual to produce records, they wouldn't need to wait for said individual to muster through the ranks of American Idol. Just offer a bunch of money, and she'd be yours, right? Anyway, if this rumor were indeed true, tonight's performance would be enough to make those record label-people deny it. Not awful, but very forgettable.

10. Arianna Afsar: Haven't these contestants ever watched American Idol before? The slow ballads almost never win in the early rounds, when so few move forward each week. So far the winners have without fail performed upbeat rock, pop, or jazzy tunes. Later, when only one person is cut each week, those songs stand a chance of not being in last place. But right now, there isn't room to be "not last." Abba's "Winner Takes All" was an ironically grim sentence for "cute as a button" Arianna. Her voice is lovely, but it caught on a few notes, and she had a lot of pitch problems (I refuse to say she was "pitchy" a la Randy and Paula, because I don't think even they could define their own word).

11. Kendall Beard: Of course there needs to be a nondescript pretty blonde girl! More definite pitch issues, but the Martina McBride selection suited this sweet little Texan.

12. Nathaniel Marshall: What a joke. There were some really, really talented singers who were cut from the competition to make room for this hot mess. In the middle of his performance of "I Would Do Anything for Love" by Meatloaf (yes, he did sing that), I wanted to take bets on which would be the first anaolgy we'd hear from a judge: mortifying high school talent show, drunk uncle at a wedding, cruise ship cabaret...the winner? Kara claims she wants to be his karaoke buddy! His whole image is a contradiction to me (effeminate tough-guy, for one), but that is another story. Musically, he just doesn't have the skills to make it as a recording artist. High school drama director? Totally. At least he has tattooed around his neck, "Music is my Life." Show us, Nate, don't tell us.

We shall see tomorrow if my top two predictions are right for a third time.

The second dozen: several standouts

Last week I predicted with ease the first three contestants to claim their spot in American Idol's Top Twelve for Season Eight. Although I would have preferred to see Ricky Braddy take the third spot, I knew better than to hope the voting public would appreciate him over the less-talented-but-more-relatable Michael Sarver.


This week was more difficult for me to choose my own favorite contestants. It will be similarly elementary to predict the three who move forward (two of them at least), but I actually connected with more than half of the performances this week. Although the lines between the good, the bad, and the ugly were very distinct, there were about twice as many viable performances this week as last.

The evening kicked off with three successive trainwrecks, leaving me to wonder if perhaps seven years of American Idol had simply bled the country dry of talent (I truly believed that watching Season Six's finale with Jordin vs. Blake. Ugh. But the Battle of the Davids last year proved my theory incorrect). Then we were relieved by the breath of fresh air that is Nick Mitchell (or Norman Gentle, depending on which mood strikes his fancy), followed by a sequence of performances ranging from decent to exquisite with only few exceptions.

Tonight the guy and gal with the most votes and the next-highest "vote-getter," as Ryan says, will earn a highly coveted seat in the Top Twelve. Actually, those silver pedestal seats the winners get to sit in look exceedingly less comfortable than the overstuffed couch housing all the losers. If it's any consolation. Which it probably isn't. So once again, here are my predictions and analyses on the 12 contestants who sang their heart out for this once-in-a-lifetime chance at stardom. Or at least their fifteen minutes of it.

1. Allison Iraheta: Finally, a performance worthy of this level in the competition, and definitely the best female we've seen so far, at least based on these recent "auditions," as they might be called. The infrequent bits of Allison shown on camera prior to her opening note last night had not impressed me. I am not fond of her look, and the girl couldn't have a less eloquent grasp of the English language if she were nine years old. But her first few bars of "Alone" by Heart rocketed Allison miles ahead of her female counterparts in the talent and stage presence departments. This is not the first time that particular 80's power ballad has been performed on AI, and it is a brilliant choice: a crowd-pleaser that truly showcases both a singer's technical proficiency and emotional range.

2. Adam Lambert: Another early fan favorite, it is no coincidence that Adam and Danny Gokey (from the first dozen) were both situated last in the lineup. American Idol has several ways in which they let you know who they want you to vote for, and closing the show is often a sure-fire way to guarantee safety. Adam's rendition of "Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones was powerful indeed, and it would be worth arguing that his look alone could sell records. I personally find Mr. Lambert's style to be a little too theatrical, approaching cheesy. But the boy can definitely SAYNG. He doesn't just hit a few high notes, he basically lives on that treble clef without ever breaking into falsetto--a feat that is as difficult to fathom as it is interesting to witness.

The next few spots get a little bit tricky. I am less sure about how the results will pan out this week, so I will tell you what I would like to happen.

3. Nick Mitchell: The spotlight opens on his alter-ego Norman Gentle in a sultry pose atop the arching staircase. He stands to reveal a full dress white tail tuxedo jacket layered over his signature rainbow-sparkle shirt, tucked into khaki tourist shorts. The red Richard Simmons-style sweatbands and dingy tennies complete his fashion statement. I am personally overcome with joy from the very first note, and as he belts out the passionate chorus of "And I am Telling You (You're Gonna Love Me)" from the musical Dreamgirls, I think to myself, "we already do, Norman. We already do." What a perfectly appropriate song choice.

You're thinking, sure, this guy is funny-looking, but that's not what American Idol is about. My response? "Who says?" WE say what American Idol is about, and I think it is about entertainment. The fact is, Nick Mitchell's voice is nowhere near horrid, and his ability to entertain is undeniable. Best of all, even though he is having the most fun of probably anyone in the history of the competition, I can tell he is taking his role seriously. It may sound like an oxymoron, but it's the truth. He won't win the competition, and won't be a recording artist, but this is a television show, and Nick/Norman will keep people watching week after week. I say keep him in!

4. Mishavonna Henson: If the most entertaining contestant on AI doesn't win over the rest of America as he has me, then the third spot should go to the next best voice, right? Mishavonna's performance of "Drops of Jupiter" was a work of precision. That was her only flaw, really: it was just a little too perfect. Kara said it best describing this little girl with a huge voice as "so put-together." Not one sleek, black wave of her hair was out of place, her bright white teeth twinkled under the stage lights, and she was singing a rock-band song in a taffeta cocktail dress. But she is adorable and has a lovely voice that I wouldn't mind hearing more of.

5. Jesse Langseth: She's cool. She's talented. She looks like a tall and slender version of Janene Garofolo. I find her bold personality a little grating, but she sang "Bette Davis Eyes" very well.

6. Matt Breitzke: I love Tonic's "If You Could Only See," and felt it was a perfect choice for Matt's husky voice. The judges all completely disagreed with me.

7. Kris Allen: We haven't seen much of this guy yet, but he is clearly very talented. And handsome to boot. He sang "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson, which was boring at the beginning and end, but he killed the middle (in a good way).

8. Kai Kalama: I bet his mama (who we won't soon be allowed to forget he takes care of in spite of great sacrifice) is very proud of his rendition of her favorite song, "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted." This guy would slay at a karaoke bar. On this stage, not so much.

9. Megan Joy Corkrey: The judges loved this girl, and I imagine they have been won over previously by what seems like a really funky persona. In my opinion, she mutilated "Put your Records On." This is a light, groovy song, and she forced a heaviness on it that wasn't welcome. Plus she kept twisting awkwardly, which I suppose was an attempt at dancing. She got one thing right, though. She didn't hold up her fingers to show you the number to vote for her. Everyone else, take a hint: that is really annoying.

10. Jasmine Murray: The song and the performance reminded me of belting out along to the radio in my car. Admit it, we've all been there with Sara Bareilles' "Love Song." Jasmine's version just wasn't very impressive. Also, when Ryan asked her if she voted after last week's performances, she said something ditzy to the effect of, "Yeah, well, I tried to vote for, like, everyone." You may as well just save the energy sister, because that is completely pointless.

11. Jeanine Vailes: It has come to my attention that some singers view the notes in their song's key as merely a suggested approximation of the pitch they ought to sing. The poor girl started begging for us to give her a chance at the end. Even Paula, Queen of the Sugar-coating, couldn't bring herself to say that Jeanine deserves a shot in the next round.

12. Matt Giraud: Paula Abdul tried to compliment Matt by saying his performance was far better than his rehearsals. If that's the case, it's a wonder they even let him on stage. It was actually uncomfortable to watch, as his Cold Play selection extended above and below his vocal range, among other travesties. There is no way that performance would have made it through the first round of auditions. They showed some great footage of the dueling piano gig he left to come to Idol, and I hope he can get that job back because he was really good at it.

Now I'm off to watch the results show to see how my favorites fared.

The first dozen: mostly mediocre

American Idol, if nothing else, is an icon of generational popular culture. As a musician/vocalist, I enjoy the show in much the same way that I imagine a gourmet enthusiast would savor Top Chef, or the owner of a fixer home would relish Trading Spaces. I like to critique the performances myself and hear what the judges (okay, the one intelligent judge) have to say.

The opening audition tour boasts some very funny moments, but my conscience can only handle so much of the awkward, heart-breaking scenes interspersed between the talent. Don't get me started on Bikini Girl, that is a sore point between me and the American Idol machine. Hollywood Week is typically my favorite segment of the show. The drama among the hopefuls is just so pitifully entertaining.

The four judges (including Kara, an intelligent and gutsy new addition, thank goodness) selected the top 36 contestants to receive the distinct privilege of performing for America's votes. When they announced this week that the singers would be performing in groups of 12 each week, with only three moving forward from each group, I was taken aback. After witnessing the dismissal of some excellent singers over the past couple of weeks, I was led to believe these top 36 must be the very best. This new elimination process is steep, and the idea that nine people would be sent home each week was admittedly worrisome.

Thankfully, I had only to be worried until the performances were underway. The concern quickly gave way to astonishment at the majority of the contestants' willingness to literally take this one shot at stardom in their hand, crumple it up into a wad, chew it up, swallow, and poop it out the other end in a pathetic, stinky, waste. For a group that we should all expect to possess top-notch talent, the results resonated with disappointment.

Tonight we'll see the guy and girl with the most votes move forward, along with the contestant with the next-highest votes. Here are my predictions, as well as a brief analysis of the rest of the evening, from best to worst.

1. Danny Gokey: This guy is going to be a favorite throughout the competition. He is attainably cute (as opposed to intimidatingly hot), has a smooth voice, and presents a sweet and professional demeanor. If that weren't enough, Danny came to the auditions four weeks after his young wife passed away. I also love that he is coolly professional. When will these American Idol dreamers learn that the childish drama doesn't get you very far (oh wait, Tatiana is just a few spots down). The only way that Danny won't be the top guy tonight is if the general voting public feels so sorry for the poor performers that they all vote for pity rather than talent, under the assumption that the good people will get enough votes. This happens at least once each season.

2. Alexis Grace: While her performance was not the second best of the evening, she was the best of the females, so the next spot should belong to Alexis. This tiny thing is SOUL-full and chose a great Aretha number to showcase herself. She wasn't perfect, but far surpassed all of the girls and most of the boys.

3. Ricky Braddy: I feel kind of bad for Ricky. He's received close to zero airtime in the show so far, so no one in America knows anything about him. But I have to say, his performance blew me away! He was the second contestant on stage, so I wasn't even comparing him to how much most of the rest sucked at the time. I was not a fan of the song he chose, but his interpretation and performance of it hooked me. I think Ricky deserves the third spot this week, and not just because I could see the "Braddy Bunch" shirts his family wore catching on. Unfortunately, I don't know if I can trust America to recognize his vocal talent.

4. Michael Sarver: Michael has a great voice, but "I Don't Want to Be" by Gavin DeGraw was a poor song choice when the stakes are so high and the cuts so deep. The fact remains, however, that the camera loved him and his blue-collar; this potential rags-to-riches story will probably put him ahead of the more talented--yet unknown--Ricky Braddy.

5. Tatiana del Toro: It pains me to say it, but this irritating drama queen was the second-best female singer of the night. Why does the squealing, strange one have to be so good? She toned it way down for this show, and I couldn't help but notice the change seemed very genuine. Almost like the insanity we witnessed over the past few weeks was truly stress-induced. Too bad we won't get to see the real Tatiana after tonight.

6. Jackie Tohn: I like Jackie, I do. Her voice is different and cool, although I felt her song this week did nothing to remind us of that fact. But WHAT on Earth was she thinking with those pants?!? I mean seriously, and I have wondered this many a time before, do these people even look in a mirror before leaving the dressing room? Aren't there wardrobe consultants who give a little, "Um, honey, maybe we should choose an article of clothing from this decade." Or, "You know, sweetie, your butt wouldn't look like my grandmother's if you chose some pants that were slightly more flattering." Perhaps there are wardrobe consultants like this, and they take their jealousy out in strange and cruel ways.

7. Anoop Desai: This guy has a great voice, and a sparkling personality. His song practically bored me to tears, though. He sounded like a one-man version of Boyz II Men. Boy II Man. I wouldn't be surprised if he moved ahead based on his past performances and likeability factor (a benefit that good ol' Ricky Braddy won't have to fall back on, thanks to his lack of screen time thus far).

8. Stephen Fowler: BORING. This performance reminded me of sappy elevator music. Or a tacky adult film soundtrack. Elevator porn, perhaps?

9. Brent Keith: Entirely forgettable performance. And I can't stand contestants who look mad at the judges' comments instead of maintaining a little dignity by accepting criticism professionally.

10. Ann Marie Boskovich: We've heard her sing in the past, but Aretha Franklin is way out of her league. Yikes.

11. Casey Carlson: The Police? Really? When your entire future as a performing artists rest on this performance? And the hideous dance moves and facial contortions didn't add a thing.

12. Stevie Wright: If you turned the TV on to this performance (or any of the last 5 I listed for that matter), you may have wondered if a high school talent show were being televised. This is supposed to be twelve of the most talented singers in America! Why she would throw away this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity by singing a horrid Taylor Swift song will forever remain a mystery.

We'll see if anyone agrees with me tonight.

Hair dilemmas

I tend to be a "grass is greener" type of person. When my hair gets long, I wish for a more creative, edgy, short cut. But after having it short for a few weeks, I pine for the flexibility and femininity that comes with luxurious length.

I absolutely hate growing my hair out. Short hair is cute. Long hair is pretty. Medium-length hair is not for me. And a short haircut doesn't look good while it's trying to get long. So after I tire of a drastic cut, I suffer through a year of ugliness while my hair slowly grows. Sometimes I give up on waiting and just chop it off again, so the ugly time is not even fruitful.

When it comes to hair, I love the freedom of style that length affords. My problem with long hair is that I eventually stop styling it. I usually skip the blow-dryer so it's limp and unintentionally wavy. When resorting to a bland ponytail or claw clip is nearly an everyday routine, I know it's time to make the cut.

My major damage with short hair, on the other hand, is that forgoing the primp and style ritual is not an option. If I let my short hair air-dry, it would be in my best interest to forget about entering the public eye for the day. So if I happen to be in a hurry, short hair is less convenient. However, most of the time I actually appreciate the compelling motivation to do my hair. Of course, it's more expensive to keep a short haircut looking right.

I used to do some fairly drastic things with my hair; my favorite was playing with the colors. Color is easy to change, and hair always grows back, so there's no reason not to have a little fun with it. Gary prefers natural looks, so I usually respect his aversion to bold haircolor and styles. This is why I was pleasantly surprised when he complimented this American Idol contestant's hair as a style I should emulate (I chose to crop the picture because her skanky outfit is an unfortunate hot mess):

I actually like it. Personally, I would leave the bangs blonde, and never consider wearing purple eyeshadow to match the hair. With those details corrected, it's funky without being over the top, in my opinion. I figured Gary would roll his eyes and consider me childish if I ever expressed interest in a style like Ms. McNamara's (now a top 36 contestant). I figure he's offered his approval now. Excellent.

Mayeb I won't dive right into the purple and blonde thing quite yet, but the pressing question I pose to you now is: shall I postpone the ugly growing-out year for a while longer, and get another A-line cut? Or just accept my cyclical desire to return to long hair and find a stylist who can give me some semblance of panache while I endure the inevitable? Does short hair or long hair seem to suit me better? Either way, more vigilant upkeep and care is necessary, as I discovered by perusing photos of myself to compare the styles. I decided not to post any for that reason. Maybe a splash of lavender would be just what I need to feel excited about doing my hair.

How do you deal with hair dilemmas?