Flashback Friday: Perfectly imperfect wedding

It's a good thing that throughout my wedding day I was in a state of bliss.  I believed the entire experience was a bride's dream come true: the perfect wedding.

In the days and weeks and years that have passed since Gary and I were married on July 15, 2005, I have periodically contemplated an array of minor regrets. I wonder if this is a common post-bridal-bliss phenomenon. It's probably a natural thought process following any once-in-a-lifetime type of event (even couples who eventually divorce presumably view their wedding day in those terms, right?).  Most brides get only one dress. One cake. One ring. One suite of bridesmaid dresses. One chance to make the perfect choices and to execute each one perfectly.

So when that one day you've laboriously planned for over many exciting months is suddenly over, is it common for the analysis to begin, and little disappointments that weren't there on the Big Day to settle? Especially if a gal were to keep her nose in bridal magazines or be forced to attend wedding after wedding for friends and family members--finding new and better options, seeing fresh ideas and styles as your own choices are left in an era behind, and being reminded of how things could have been done--could potentially exacerbate all this nuptial mourning nonsense.

What I've described does not reflect my own experience to any disturbing degree.  But I have spoken to married women who make me wonder about the universality of longing to re-do at least certain aspects of such a treasured, momentous occasion as our own wedding.  If nothing else, the photos I've seen from early nineties' weddings might be enough to confirm the suspicion.

My nearly-perfect wedding began for me the night before. After Gary and I hosted our immediate family members at a dinner celebration at the restaurant where we met when both employed there, I drove with my mother and my only sister to the bed and breakfast in the foothills of Mt. Hood where I would be married.  This girls' night together chatting and giggling and squeezing together into a huge king bed was the perfect conclusion for my un-married life. The next morning we were elegantly served the most delicious German Pancakes (a first for me) topped with raspberries picked fresh from the garden outside our log cabin. YUM.

We woke up to this day:

Yeah, that's where I got married. NO regrets there! Which was a close call, because we overcame distinct opposition to the idea of requesting that guests travel over an hour from Portland to attend.  I am so glad we held strong to our conviction on this decision, because this venue is one of the most memorable and special aspects of our wedding, and the people who made the effort to attend are the ones who matter most.

Also perfect: my wedding dress.

I had no intentions of selecting a strapless gown; it isn't the most flattering style on my broad shoulders.  This dress really didn't fit the vague idea I was concocting of the perfect dress, but when I tried it on, it literally became the embodiment of my perfect dress. I love the lace-up back. I love the intricate beading and silver-threaded leaf design. I love the organza overlay. It made me feel so beautiful.

We were very pleased with our photographer--actually we got two for the price of one because they were instructing a new guy on the team.  So there were two cameras shooting most of the time, which is why we also got a few precious shots of our actual photographer:

Brian took our engagement photos in NE Portland too, and he was super easy to work with, really fun, and took excellent photos.

The last piece of my wedding puzzle that I've remained especially happy about is serenading my new husband.

My very talented mother accompanied me singing "The Nearness of You" by Norah Jones. I'll never forget that my older brother Bryan told me he had a hard time determining whether I was actually singing or lip-syncing to a professional recording, and also that it isn't right for his sister to sing "like that."  It's a fairly sultry song.

Even these points of near-perfection hit their snags.  The weather was beautiful, but in Columbia River Gorge style, turned windy.  My dress didn't fit quite as well after 8 hours, so the evening photos feature a hefty portion of armpit fat spilling over the top.  That might be the absolute worst part, but just in case I'll go ahead and describe a few more things I've secretly wished could have been different.  I hope it is clear that these are minor blemishes to an otherwise joyful celebration of love.

It's a fact that disappointment always results from unmet expectations. I loved every bit of my wedding while I was experiencing it, but revisiting pictures and memories offers the unfortunate perspective to unwittingly compare reality to the fantasy I thought I was living.

My hair ended up far too perfectly curled, when what I wanted was the loose, messy look from this magazine ad:

I actually love our unique cake, and knew we wouldn't get exactly the same look we fell in love with in a magazine.  It was just an inspiration photo, after all.  Hopefully not tragic enough to be worthy of submission to the glorious cakewrecks.com, but kind of fun to see the departure.

We planned a butterfly release for the grand finale of our ceremony, only it was more comical than grand, since the butterflies struggled to fly away. It was more of a butterfly "drop."  You can see a few insects fluttering about, plenty on the ground, and Gary trying to shake the rest out of the box.

We visited Mt. Hood Bed and Breakfast on our 2nd anniversary, and the owners told us that the Monarchs and Painted Ladies enjoying their flowers were the spawn of our wedding release. They claimed to enjoy the  beautiful mark we left behind.

So far I've listed the petty little shortfalls of expectation, unimportant in the grand scheme of a beautiful wedding.  But not all of my regrets are so trivial.  For example, like probably any number of newlyweds, I wish we had visited more with our guests throughout the evening.  But that just comes with the territory I think, and considering we didn't have a reception line, I guess it's pretty good that I at least greeted just about everybody there.

We ended up having to arrange for an alternate officiant with very little notice. Originally a dear friend of mine was to officiate the ceremony, but with less than two weeks to spare, she abandoned us.  While each detail of our wedding and reception were carefully orchestrated, the all-important individual who would do the honors of solemnizing our union suddenly became a matter subject to availability rather than preference.  The woman we found (with the unfailing assistance of our amazing wedding coordinator) was fine, but didn't necessarily exemplify our ultimate match.  Also, she lost her place in her cue cards once, resulting in an awkward few moments when she repeated herself and then struggled to regain composure and continue from the right spot.  We did have two beautiful readings offered by Angie, Gary's best friend from high school, and my sister, Diana.  We both got a little choked up reading our wedding vows, and our huskies presented the wedding rings, led up the aisle by their breeder, with whom we had become good friends.

It might sound a little silly, but if I was offered a chance to change only one thing about my wedding day, after seriously considering having someone tell me my armpit fat was spilling, I would probably ultimately decide to go back and make sure my mother watched our first dance. I don't know where she was, but somehow my mom missed that whole performance. And I say 'performance' because Gary and I took lessons and had an entire dance choreographed to Michael Buble's "Moondance." Yes, I know that's really cheesy, but we had a lot of fun at our lessons. Here is the victory pose after we pulled it off:

So maybe my wedding wasn't perfect.  But the entire day I thought that it was.  That's what being in love feels like.

Flashback Friday: Teens in Eugene

I had nearly forgotten about this odd trip until my friend Sarah and I reminisced about it a few weeks ago. Strange how entire events in my life can be buried into my memory without a reason to recall them. While looking through a box of photos today I found some pictures taken, apparently, on a disposable camera when Sarah and I took a road trip to Eugene, OR in April 1998.

This was toward the end of our Junior year in high school. My purpose in traveling to Eugene from my home in Beaverton was to attend the State Solo Vocal Competition being held at the University of Oregon. If there was some reason that one of my parents was unable to attend, I don't recall what it was. But somehow, my long-time chum Sarah accompanied me for the drive south and to stay overnight in a motel. It seems a bit strange now to consider sending your 16-year-old daughter and her 17-year-old friend 150 miles from home to spend the night at a creepy motel all alone. But do you want to guess what I thought of the idea at the time? Yep.

The drive to Eugene normally takes about 2.5 hours from where I lived at the time. But we got there in a little over an hour. I hope I had the sense to wait a while before making the "call me when you get there" call. It was no mystery to me how--I drove my Subaru Legacy wagon over 100 miles per hour most of the I-5 stretch. I remember telling Sarah how the car drives so smoothly you don't even notice how fast you are going. And also that on these long stretches of straight freeway, the speed limit is lame. I actually still believe that for the most part, but I now have the wretched experience of paying for speeding tickets to make me slow down. Here's the view from Sarah's seat heading to Eugene:

We were well-behaved girls, so our motel room provided the bulk of our entertainment for the trip. Who wouldn't be amused by these fancy white cubes serving as a coffee table?

And why bother centering artwork above the furniture? Balance is overrated.

The sad thing about this trip is that I came down with some kind of throat-ailment. It may have been laryngitis. So I drank a lot of water in my Simpsons jammies the night before the competition.

The next day I still sounded raspy when I spoke, but managed to sing my classical aria anyway. The adjudicators were impressed that I was able to pull it off decently in my condition, as was I. But it certainly was not as good as it could have or should have been had I been well. So I didn't place in the competition. Now that I've recalled this random scene from my glory days, I don't plan to forget it. Memories should be treasured more than any ribbon. Sarah, can you shed any more light on our escapades?

Six childhood movies I still adore

Something special remains about movies I fell in love with in my youth. Even a film that could never be considered for any Academy Awards holds a power beyond its cinematography prowess when it represents the emotional state of a period of my life. Here are just a few titles that come to mind when I think of movies which have maintained that "classic" status for me, ones that I would not hesitate to watch over and over again.

In no particular order, and certainly not an exhaustive list...

1) The Cutting Edge. The glamour of figure skating. The thrill of forbidden flirtation. To this day my heart swells with unabashed joy when I picture D.B. Sweeney and Moira Kelly sharing that first kiss at the conclusion of their perilous winning performance. Cheesy, of course, but this was before I had seen 112 other movies with the same I-hate-you-but-now-I-love-you concept.

2. Dumb and Dumber. I still believe this is arguably one of the funniest movies ever made. There are so many classic lines that I continue to use on a regular basis. Tommy Boy has that similar place in my heart.

3. A League of their Own. Come on, this movie is so good! Star-studded ensemble cast, funny, touching, at least somewhat historically enlightening, and chock full of affirmative moral lessons. What more could a girl want? This is the way I want to remember Rosie O'Donnell.

4. Newsies. D U H. I'm willing to bet that I still have the soundtrack memorized, and still get twitterpated just thinking about those cuties.

5. Wild Hearts Can't be Broken. Another character-shaping movie featuring a strong female lead living any little girl's dream (performing with horses) who overcomes profound tragedy. You can watch the epic conclusion here.

6. The Chipmunk Adventure. I imagine this will be the most controversial selection on my list. There are several more "mainstream" animated films I also consider representative of my childhood, most notably Disney's The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and The Lion King. But there is a separate place in my heart for this one, perhaps partly because it is so obscure. Much like The Brave Little Toaster, which should also be on this list. I borrowed The Chipmunk Adventure on DVD for our road trip this summer, and was fully entertained singing along to the high-pitched songs of world adventure from the front seat while Madelyn enjoyed this classic from in the car.

On a final note, I know many peers of my generation would include The Princess Bride and Goonies on a list like this. But I didn't see those movies until I was in high school and college, respectively, so I don't consider them influential movies from my youth. In addition, while The Princess Bride earns its right as a highly celebrated, timeless classic, I did not enjoy Goonies nearly as thoroughly. That is a movie, like at least some on my list here, whose frame of reference and associated memories of the viewer lend more value than the movie itself.

What movies are on your list?

Nike+ iPod Sensor review

My serious running friends have fancy GPS watches. I was envious of their ability to just step out the front door and run in any direction, knowing they could track their distance and adjust the route as needed to meet a desired goal mileage. My method previously required driving a car and measuring different routes in advance with my odometer. It was time-consuming and involved a lot of trial and error to get the right route for a chosen distance to end up back at home or wherever I might park my car to run.

Then I learned about a website called mapmyrun.com, and realized that I didn't need any fancy equipment to plan my routes. On the website I can simply click my starting point, and click, click, click along the roads on a map. If my unfinished loop isn't going to end up long enough, or is getting too far from home base for my desired distance, I just hit undo a few clicks and add or remove streets as needed. This serves my purpose, and although it doesn't allow the same flexibility as GPS perhaps, it is absolutely free. I just have to spend a few extra minutes planning a route and then committing the important turns to memory before heading out. I also like the ability to email proposed maps to my running buddies, and is especially helpful when I'll be meeting somebody partway through my run because we have different distance goals for the day.

So the distance problem was satisfactorily solved for me on mapmyrun.com. But another very useful feature of the GPS tool is real-time pace tracking. The only way for me to know how fast I run is to do a little math at the very end of my workout: speed = distance / time. I feel that I have reached the point in my training that I am ready to work on increasing my speed and maintaining a more constant pace throughout my runs. In order to do that, I need to know how fast I am going at various points on my course, not just the average at the end.

A new Garmin watch wasn't going to be in the cards for me, that I knew. But a while ago I searched for used models on craigslist and eBay. I couldn't justify buying one of the ancient models when I have heard the technology has been significantly improved over the last few years, but the previously-owned newish models were still out of my budget. And so I accepted that I would do without.

Over the summer, while shopping for a new pair of running shoes at the Nike Factory Store, I noticed most of the shoeboxes were labeled with the Nike+ logo. I had heard of it, but read more information on a little brochure explaining that a Nike+ shoe can talk to your iPod wirelessly with every step, and tell you your time, distance, pace, and calories burned while you run. Bingo.

It didn't take me long to figure out that the shoes are simply Nike+ ready, meaning there is a little compartment in the shoe for the sensor, which would have to be purchased separately. The Nike Plus Sensor sells online for under $30--about a tenth of the price of a Garmin.

At such a small pricetag, the question became not whether I could afford it, but whether it would be worth it. Would it be accurate enough to be useful? For that cheap, there was definitely no GPS technology inside. I searched online for more information about how exactly the Nike+ iPod sensor works, but found very little besides where to buy it. Even the instruction manual pdf did not provide any clues to how the sensor measures distance and pace, or what amount of accuracy should be expected.

I decided to buy one and give it a try. And since I found the internet to be slightly lacking helpful information on this product, I hope that my review will be helpful to some curious shoppers out there.

What is Nike+ iPod sensor?

Essentially the Nike+ sensor is just a pedometer. It tracks your steps. But unlike the cheap little pendulum clip you can attach to the front of your pants, the Nike+ can do instantaneous calculations based on the number of steps you take over measured time intervals to determine your current pace. There is also some calculation for calories burned, and of course it times your workout as well. All of this information is displayed on your iPod screen and can even be received through instant audio feedback on your earphones.

How accurately does Nike+ measure distance?

The sensor comes ready to use out of the box and claims to be "accurate for most runners," but I would highly recommend calibrating it immediately. You simply run an accurately measured distance in the calibration mode (for example 400 meters, one lap around a standard track on the inside lane) and then the sensor (I assume) determines your average stride length.

You can also calibrate the sensor after having completed a run with a known distance, which is a nice feature. I ran with my new, uncalibrated Nike+ sensor alongside a friend with GPS, and mine was pretty far off of her distance measurement. After the run, I simply input the # of miles we had just completed, and it calibrated for future runs. Since then, my Nike+ has provided measurements that are within a tenth of a mile of my Garmin friends'. I also look at the mile-markers on mapmyrun.com before leaving home, and often my Nike+ gives me the mile count within a driveway-length of the satellite map's.

I propose that the longer the run, and the more hills involved (especially if up- and downhill lengths are disproportionate), the less accurate the distance will be. Generally, your stride will be longer going down hill and shorter going up hill, and as far as I can conclude, the Nike+ doesn't have a way to account for these differences. If you go up and down hills fairly evenly, it would probably balance out. Today I planned a 12-mile route on the map website, and when I reached the end of the route, my Nike+ sensor had measured 12.25 miles. That is the most discrepancy I have ever noticed, but my friend also reminded me that those online maps may not be 100% accurate either.

How accurately does Nike+ measure pace?

The answer to this question echoes the previous one. Since the Nike+ sensor determines your average stride length through calibration and then counts the # of steps you take over measured time intervals, its accuracy depends on your stride length remaining constant. Hills, very long runs where you might significantly shorten your stride will impact the pace measurement (as well as distance). For the casual runner, the difference is probably not enough to be concerned about. I also am not sure how long it takes for the sensor to calculate and communicate with the iPod receiver. I would like to know if the lag time is 3 seconds or 10 seconds or 1 second. Overall, for me, the pace reported is close enough. After all, I could previously only venture a guess at my speed without spending $300 on a Garmin.

How does Nike+ interact with the iPod?

Nike+ iPod is supported on all iPod nano models, iPod touch (2nd gen), and iPhone 3G S. So make sure you have one of those. I have an iPod nano 2nd generation, so that's the only model on which I can comment specifically, but the features should be more or less the same on all (and the manual covers the differences in detail).

All of your workout information is displayed on the screen, and you can still control your music throughout. You can choose a male or female voice to give you periodic updates on your distance (or turn the voice off), and press the center button at any time to hear your time, distance, pace and calories. I suppose this is nice if you don't want to have to look at the screen.

I use an arm band for my iPod, and my biggest complaint about the entire system is that it's difficult to read the screen on my arm because the information is upside-down. I would strap the iPod on in an inverted position, except that the case is open on the top, so it would just fall out. Perhaps there is an armband case that is secure on the top so I could wear it upside-down. Hm. I'll have to look into that. Also it is tedious to have to tap the touch pad every time I want an update, as I can't read the screen in motion without the backlight.

Another cool feature is the ability to choose a power song. When in need of some extra motivation, you can hold down the center button and your special song starts a-pumpin'. I haven't actually used that feature yet, but it seems fun.

The iPod interface for Nike Plus also allows you to:

• choose distance, time, or calorie goals for your workout, or just start going.
• listen to any playlist or all songs, or no music. You can receive calls on the iPhone and your workout will automatically be paused.
• review previous workout summaries
• send your workouts to nikeplus.com
• create custom workout shortcuts (this is a useful feature I need to start using!)
• link one iPod receiver to multiple sensors.

What if I don't have Nike+ shoes?

Aha! Nike wants you to think you need those, but it's a trick. I actually saw some poor schmuck selling his sensor on eBay because he realized his shoes aren't compatible with it. Yes, the Nike+ shoes have a foam pad under the foot bed which can be removed and replaced with the Nike+ sensor. Yes that keeps it all neat and tidy and out of your way. But I came across dozens of various sensor "pods" that you can buy for under ten bucks and attach to any shoe. These little pouches hold the sensor and attach to your laces it seems. So you don't need special shoes, but without them you'll need a little pod for the sensor.

How does Nike+ measure steps taken?

I actually don't know the answer to this. Maybe nobody cares, as long as it works. But I am curious. Since the sensor does not need to be under the footbed (see above), the pedometer must not measure steps through impact, so perhaps it is a pendulum effect similar to the cheap hip-clip models. Before I got my own Nike+ sensor and realized that indeed it is just a fancy pedometer, I wondered if there were TWO sensors--one for each foot--which could somehow communicate with one another. If that were the case, distance and time could be very accurate, if the two sensors could measure their distance apart and when they cross each other...I'm no engineer though, and maybe that technology is just in my imagination...thus far. It might use impact, however, without requiring the full weight of the body. Just the impact of foot strike is probably enough to mark a step taken.

Overall, I am very happy that I tried the Nike+ Plus iPod sensor. In my experience Nike+ has delivered surprisingly accurate information; undoubtedly better than no information. For under 30 dollars, it is certainly worth the investment.

This review is based solely on my own personal use of Nike+ and my related opinions. I don't work for Nike or Apple and apologize for any misrepresentations that may unknowingly exist. Hopefully this report provides additional insight to shoppers looking for more information about this product.

American Idol Finale: The good, the bad, and the ugly

Whether you were pulling for Adam Lambert or Kris Allen, or even if you had never before seen a minute of American Idol, last week's Season Finale was arguably an unforgettable show.  The abundant guest performers came from the top ranks of stardom, proving that American Idol is recognized as a legitimate musical platform.  It was as diverse a group as could have been imagined: from Rod Stewart to KISS, Fergie to Queen, Cyndi Lauper to Steve Martin. The music was unbelievable, set against a backdrop of mechanical sets and flaming pyrotechnics, with a few nicely construed comedic breaks thrown in for good measure.  Before the winner was ever announced, we were treated to a world-class rock concert.

The two finalists announce alongside Queen that "they are the champions"

But it wasn't all pretty.  Here are my favorite moments of the finale, along with some I would have preferred to do without.

Good: Carlos Santana's genius guitar-riffing highlighted in the center of a circle of idols he accompanied.

Bad: Rod Stewart, just a little too old.

Ugly: Fergie and Black Eyed Peas' hardcore duet had to be bleeped for language. This is a family show!

Ugly: Adam's wire-cage black angel wings?!?!

Good: Okay, once KISS was dramatically lowered onto the stage behind him, it all made sense.  What a lucky bitch to get a chance to sing with those guys.

Bad (maybe the cool kind of bad): Paul Stanley smashed his diamond(?)-encrusted electric guitar against the stage until it broke in two.

I wonder what sort of daily tongue exercise routine these guys have to maintain

Good: Allison Iraheta singing "Time After Time" with Cyndi Lauper, plucking along on her lap guitar. 

Bad: Wish Allison would have sung more and Ms. Lauper a little less. Allison's voice was perfect on this number.

Ugly: Cyndi Lauper sitting spread eagle in those hideous pants.

Good: Did you even know that Steve Martin was a musician? He accompanied a song he wrote on the banjo!

Bad: The undeserving contestants selected to perform Mr. Martin's brainchild were Michael Sarver and Megan Joy Corkery. 

Ugly: I could have happily lived my life without ever hearing Megan Joy sing again. 

Good: Nick Mitchell's "Golden Idol" acceptance: dressed in a black hooded sweatshirt, he professed his regret for not preparing anything because he had no idea he would be coming on stage. Then suddenly he yelled, "Hit it!" and stripped off the sweatshirt to reveal his signature sparkly shirt, allowing us to bask in the glory that is Norman Gentle one last time. So endearing.

Bad: Bikini Girl's "Golden Idol" acceptance: the fact that they even allowed that girl anywhere near the show again makes my blood boil.  Her disgusting fake-baked body strutted out in a shiny new bikini, with some shiny new implants to fill it out. YUCK! 

Good: They let Bikini Girl (Katrina Darrell) sing, and she was truly awful. And then. And THEN Kara Dioguardi, the judge whose sing-off with this contestant at her despicable audition kicked off the drama, waltzed down the staircase behind Miss Darrell, microphone in hand.  As Randy Jackson might say, Kara's got some pipes, dawg! Bikini Girl kept her composure and tried to keep singing along (interviews confirm that Kara's upstaging appearance was a complete surprise to Darrell).  But wait. There's more! Along with her final note, Kara ripped open the modest black dress she wore to reveal a set of tight abs in a black bikini, all in a healthy shade of pasty white.  The best part is that Kara exposed herself only because Ryan seacrest dared her with a promised donation to her favorite charity.  After her shocking reveal, Kara quickly covered up, looking embarrassed, showing Bikini Girl and the rest of the world that sometimes a little modesty is more sexy than half an ounce of string wrapped around fake, orange softballs. Sweet, sweet satisfaction.

Ugly: Tatiana del Toro's "Golden Idol" acceptance: Ryan Seacrest feigned being out of time and needing break for commercial, informing Tatiana that she wouldn't be able to sing.  The diva ran on stage, grabbed her trophy, and sang her song with two security guards half-heartedly chasing her around.  This actually would have been hilarious if it were real, but clearly it was a cheesy part of the act and she was in on it.

After 2 hours and 7 minutes of suspense (What am I saying? I was so entertained I practically forgot we were waiting for results!), Kris Allen was crowned the winner of American Idol, Season Eight.  He appeared to be the most shocked person in the room, and spent the next two minutes looking down, shaking his head, and even pointing at Adam as if to say, "he deserves this more." This might have been irritating, except I can't think of anyone whose humility has ever seemed more genuine. 

The good news is that both singers are destined to work in the music industry, at least for the near future.  Kris' win was viewed as sort of an "upset," but I wasn't surprised at all.  I wouldn't have been surprised if Adam had won, either, because they were both incredible performers.  But you cannot underestimate the importance of Kris' universal appeal versus Adam's very outlandish flamboyancy. Even I preferred Adam earlier on, but toward the end people start thinking about whose CD they would actually buy (how dated--I should say: whose singles they would actually download), and who they want to hear on the radio, not just who is fun to watch on stage with all of the theatrics of television.  Plus, I believe Danny Gokey had a strong Christian following.  After his departure, where do you think those votes went?

The results may not have provided any big surprise, but the rest of the finale show was full of them, which made it very entertaining.  An apt conclusion to a very fun season full of talent.

American Idol Top 7 through 3

I slacked off on my very important duty of keeping everyone in the world up to date concerning what happened on American Idol and my related opinions.  Sorry about that, but here is a brief recap of the past 4 weeks. 

First of all, there has been only one error in my prediction of eliminations made in early April: Lil and Anoop were voted off on the same night (after Matt was saved by the judges the previous week), then Matt un-shockingly went home next, exactly as I stated would happen. The top four presented a more delicate challenge, in that every remaining contestant not only boasted worthy talent and star-quality, but each one was recognizably unique. I can imagine singles on the radio from any of this year's top four, and their stark differences in performance-styles made the group very fun to watch.

My error was in previously predicting that Danny would go home before Allison, but in reality the order was reversed.  Otherwise my forecast was spot-on, and we will be treated to a duel between the flamboyant, screaming, often sparkly Adam Lambert and the humble, guitar/piano-playing pretty boy Kris Allen.  Remember Kris is the one who was as shocked as the rest of the country when he was ushered into the Top 13 during the early elimination rounds. 

Several weeks ago, I was swayed by Adam's marvelously distinctive arrangements and sultry, soft ballads.  But I've since boldly moved into the Kris Allen camp. For one thing, Adam has unapologetically returned to screechy rock songs, and while I still appreciate the proficiency of his skills, his screamy voice is not as appealing to me as his dreamy voice.  I was horrified by his butchering of the Aerosmith classic "Cryin'" last week.  In addition, I've decided that I would be more apt to listen to the style of music most likely to be recorded by Kris on the radio than the type that Adam will eventually record.  I imagine they will both be outfitted with satisfying record-deals, no matter who earns the most votes this week.  Lastly, I prefer Kris' genuine dumbfounded humility to Adam's grateful, yet not-entirely-surprised-to-be-in-the-finals demeanor.  Having said all that, Adam will make a better rock star than Kris, and probably any prior American Idol contestant ever.  He definitely possesses a certain showmanship.

After America's Favorite Singer is bestowed his title this Wednesday, we get to move enthusiastically on to the search for America's Favorite Dancer on So You Think You Can Dance, a show that (since watching it for the first time last year) I find significantly more entertaining than American Idol.  Sorry.  Let's get the two remaining AI episodes out of the way before I get too excited about the dancers!

American Idol Top 7

I'm writing my American Idol recap a day late on purpose this time: I decided last week that I liked being able to comment on the results as well as the performances, even if it means the originality of my predictions may be subject to scrutiny. Whatever.

"Songs from the Movies" might just be my favorite theme so far. In addition to witnessing Quentin Tarantino actually provide constructive criticism (a refreshing challenge to every other celebrity mentor's "That sounded great!" broken record), we weren't forced to sit through any painfully boring songs. Unfortunately, the evening was also devoid of any spectacular performances. Even my usual favorites fell a little flat: Allison Iraheta's "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith was a perfect choice, but she just didn't sing it that well. The message coming across to me was, "Obviously I am an awesome rockstar, so correct pitch and emotional connection to the song aren't necessary." Even Adam Lambert, while technically proficient, didn't add anything extraordinary to "Born to be Wild." I guess I prefer his startling softer side to the rock and roll which he more clearly embodies.

Kris Allen brought out that softer side I love with the beautiful Glen Hansard song, "Falling Slowly." His was my favorite performance, of a great song I don't hear often enough.

The difference between Danny Gokey's performance this week and last week is...um...nothing. Danny certainly brings an admirable level of consistency to the competition. He always sounds good, but he always sounds the same.

I expected Anoop Desai to follow his established pattern and fail miserably after he did well last week, but was pleasantly surprised with his controlled rendition of Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do," a song notoriously easy to karaokify.

Likewise, I wasn't expecting much from Lil Rounds, but I thought her gospel-infused version of "The Rose" made the song more interesting and showed more artistry than she has brought to the stage for many weeks. She is still my least favorite contestant, but I thought her performance was better than the judges gave her credit for. I thought it might be enough to save her until she fought to squeeze in her opinionated defense after the judges' comments. That is always an unattractive move, made more distasteful by the blatant disregard for Ryan's urgent reminder that the show had already gone over-time.

Matt Giraud also performed Bryan Adams, and also sounded quite good. But without having established a fan base as solid as Adam or Danny's, however, I felt that Matt's sentence to the bottom 3 this week was a distinct possibility. I would have preferred to see Lil Rounds pack her bags, but Matt received the lowest number of votes, which earned him the opportunity to "sing for his life" based on this year's new ultra-exciting rule twist: the "Judge's Save." The elite panel gets one opportunity to veto America's votes if believed to be "wrong." The problem with such a prospect at this stage in the competition is that everyone is pretty darn good...but each week someone inevitably must go.

Matt's do-over--possibly his last chance to sing on the American Idol stage--was unrecognizable. Granted he awkwardly sang it from outside the safe haven of his piano bench, but vocally it was a disaster. It wasn't a big surprise to me that the judges opted to use their one saving grace for Matt. He has been one of the girls' favorites from the very beginning despite the fact that his performances have been inconsistent, and he has yet to bring anything spectacular to the stage. Their decision to keep him around another week could not have possibly been based on his supposedly life-saving performance, because if it had been his first audition, we would never have seen him in Hollywood.

We'll enjoy the likes of this same Top 7 once again next week, but because of this not-so-shocking twist, two of them will see their fate sealed by the public vote (or lack thereof). What remains to be seen is whether the judges' save did anything more than prolong the inevitable.

American Idol Top 8

I watched both the American Idol performances and results in succession last night, so my tardy review allows me to discuss both aspects of this week's show.

Nearly every bit of television entertainment I watch is recorded on our DVR. Even when I want to watch American Idol on the correct night, I'll wait until at least 30 minutes past showtime before starting to watch so I can fast-forward through the commercials. I know I am not alone, and I also know that people like us make advertisers very angry. But don't you worry, they'll find other ways to reach us. I'm already noticing changes to the commercials themselves which seem to make an impact even on fast-forward, or contain images that are designed to make you want to rewind and watch it. The evolution of advertising.

Anyway, the reason I mention this is that Tuesday night's show went into overtime--perhaps because a little too much time was spent making not-very-funny jokes about the judges' and Ryan Seacrest's baby photos at the beginning--and the DVR entirely missed recording the final performance. This spot in the lineup happened to belong to one Adam Lambert, the performance I most look forward to each week because it is always by far the most interesting. I was very disappointed.

Thank goodness for YouTube, then, as moments ago I was able to sneak a peek at the performance which I understand received only a standing ovation from Simon Cowell himself, in lieu of any adjudication from the judges, as the clock ticked into Fringe's season premiere. Simply put, Adam Lambert is a brilliant artist, talented vocalist, and hasn't made a wrong choice yet as far as I'm concerned. Take a listen to this, and remember that it comes from the same man who sang that insane arrangement of Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire (I re-posted audio-only since the video was removed).

Delicious.

The rest of the contestants were okay--no other standouts this week in my opinion. Even Kris Allen's performance really fell flat. It was just kind of sloppy, and really boring. Matt Giraud's song also seemed off to me, but the judges loved it. Danny Gokey managed to make "Stand by Me," a relatively boring song, interesting by choosing a creative arrangement. Anoop bounced back from last week's trainwreck with a soft ballad, "True Colors." He was technically proficient, but the song was yawn-worthy.

Allison did justice to a great song, "I Can't Make You Love Me." Her voice is recognizably unique, which is more than I can say about Lil Rounds. She would be a great backup singer, because she can sing in tune and hit big, high notes, but to me, she just doesn't stand out as a star soloist. Scott MacIntyre isn't good enough to sell albums either. But he took a big leap and moved away from his comfortable piano bench, accompanying himself with an electric guitar this week. I thought that might have been just the right bold move to keep this sight-impaired contestant around for another week, but it turns out I was wrong.

Scott got the boot last night (although softened by Paula Abdul's heartfelt speech to his inspirational journey), with Anoop and Lil by his side in the bottom three. Surprisingly, this was Lil's first time in the bottom three (but I doubt she'll be able to escape it anymore). Anoop, on the other hand, is no stranger to those uncomfortable silver stools.

The problem immediately facing Anoop Desai is that his likability is waning, and that quality alone rescued him from some very poor performances. After each mistake, he manages to rebound with a performance worthy of redemption, only to throw it away again the following week. The emerging predictability of this pattern leads me to believe we can expect another bomb next week. And I don't mean that in the context of "da bomb."

But last night while he stood next to Scott, awaiting Ryan's pronouncement of their respective fates, Anoop did a very poor job of disguising his anger at us viewers for not having voted for him. Maybe he was just mad at himself, but his evident frustration came across as arrogance, which is unbecoming to say the least. Contrasted with Scott's beaming smile--happy to have simply been a part of such an amazing journey--the effect Anoop's expression had on his consumer appeal was intensified. Apparently there was also buzz about him talking back to the judges last week, and anyone who had forgotten or might not have noticed (that's me) was made full aware when Ryan Seacrest asked Anoop about it Tuesday night, basically forcing him to apologize on stage before his performance. This all adds up to a risky situation for Anoop, so he'd better pull himself together. If he can't lose the ambiance of conceit, he'd better step up some serious game on the singing front.

The remaining 7 contestants are easily divided: Lil, Anoop, and Matt will all leave the competition before Danny, Adam, Kris, and Allison. I believe Adam will be in the final showdown, but I can see him accompanied by any of those remaining three. My official prediction at this point for order of elimination is: Anoop, Lil, Matt, Danny, Allison--leaving Kris and Adam to battle for the title. But my opinion could easily change as the weeks progress.

While we're talking about results for the first time, I want to say that I am so happy that Megan Corkery was finally released from her unfortunate position in the top 10. That girl brought shame to the organization and all it stands for. It seemed as if she knew that on the night she was sent home. The only person I do wish was still around is Alexis Grace. That cute little blondie with the big voice could take Lil's place and I would be very pleased.

American Idol Top 9

I swear I have no intentions for Beyond Mommy to become an American Idol blog. Since my husband recently started working a job with long hours rendering me a full-time working-at-home-mother with a business to run, I have been left with very few moments to spend blogging, and when the free time does manifest itself, my brain is so far from creative writing mode that I've been unable to focus any meaningful thought into comprehensible prose. So here we are again with my opinions on Fox Reality TV, since my OCD won't allow me to abandon this series of posts I began.

Predicting the bottom three after tonight's show should be easier than making a blonde laugh on Saturday.*

To my humble little ears, Megan Joy's voice sounds like nails on a blackboard, the agony only intensifying every week. The judges only prattled on about her disappointing song choice though, instead of cluing her in to the fact that she cannot sing! Why am I the only one who knows this?!?

Anoop sang a song by Usher that half of the audience has probably never heard and won't enjoy. I really like Anoop. On top of his singing talent, I am always left with a faint impression that he could have been Peter Gibbons' third cohort at Initech. His little hip-hop motif on stage tonight authenticated the Office Space persona for me, distinctly conjuring images of the three software programmers bashing the hell out of an old copy machine in a vacant lot to the tune of "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta." Hilarious? Yes. Legitimate? No.

Matt Giraud got the next worst comments from the judges, once again focusing on his poor song choice. I agree that it was ludicrous to select a song by The Fray which was so reminiscent of his horrendous Cold Play rendition that cost him his first chance at getting voted through to the Top 12. But he sang tonight's song far better, and I wish the judges would let go of the song choice issue once in a while and give some feedback on what the singer did with the song he or she chose. It's true that this genre isn't Matt's best match, and the judges made no mistake in conveying that message, but if this is the kind of music he wants to sing, let America decide whether or not he should. Kara is right, however, in stating that Matt does not deserve to go home.

On that note, neither does Anoop, based on what we've seen him accomplish in the past. After Megan, my next choice to go home would be Lil Rounds. Last week I felt it was time to bid adieu to Scott MacIntyre, but this week he made all the right choices. Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are" with nothing but Scott, a spotlight, and the shiny black Yamaha (which Ryan Seacrest has repeatedly referred to as the "baby grand" despite the fact that it is over 7 feet long) perfectly highlighted his vocals this week without the distractions that I believe have caused him to lose mental focus in the past, affecting the precision of his intonation and pitch. The judges were pleasantly surprised at Lil's Celine Dion copycat, but my assessment is far from glowing. She struggled to find the correct key a couple of times, and overused the screaming powerhouse voice without giving it proper dynamic balance.

My four favorites still won the competition tonight, but I can easily place two at the very top. The issue I'm having with Danny Gokey is that he is producing a nearly identical performance each week. It isn't getting any worse, it just isn't getting any more interesting. I also thought the range of the Rascal Flatts number was too wide, as the lower register was not well-supported (again), yet it would have been a strain to hit any higher than the top of that key.

Alison Iraheta killed it once again on "Don't Speak," and I appreciated a slightly more subdued choice without losing her rockstar edge. Usually Simon Cowell is the only judge bold enough to ridicule a contestant's choice of wardrobe (especially a girl's), but the meek and stuttering Randy Jackson started the panel on a tirade against her (admittedly horrific) ensemble. I hated the dress as much as any of them, but I was baffled that not one of them mentioned the absurdity of her guitar prop. When she came out with the axe around her neck, we were all surprised and excited to hear this punk jam on her electric guitar. She plucked a few soft chords for her intro, then violently swung it around her back , grabbed the mic, and allowed the band to accompany the rest of the song. I was left yearning for more, but believing that she must lack the skill to provide it, and thus should have simply left it out altogether. Because after the intro she looked rather silly with a guitar strapped to the back of her poofy dress. The whole thing was confusing, but thankfully she really did sing well, and this is a singing competition after all.

Which leads us to the highlights of the night: Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. It amazes me that Kris' entrance to the competition was kind of a shocker, yet he has not once failed to impress. I absolutely loved his "Ain't No Sunshine," and we got to see him behind a keyboard instead of guitar this week, which just adds another succulent layer to his tiramisu of talent. The reason I can see him rising above the entertaining Mr. Lambert is the fact that he has universal appeal. Right now we love anticipating what inimitable mark Adam will leave on the stage each week. But at the very end, when people start deciding which performances they would actually download to their iPod, I think Kris might beat Adam based on a wider circle of influence. On the other hand, it may be Kris' conventional talent that ultimately resigns him to being just another really good singer, giving Adam the edge as he has proven to be so much more.

At this point, I'm rooting for these two boys in the finale, but my verdicts are based on performances alone, so no alliances are promised. But if Megan continues to escape her deserved fate, I may have some harsh words for a little website called votefortheworst.com because they are seriously pissing me off (to the extent that one can take Reality TV seriously).



*Just tell her a joke on Saturday! Do people even tell blonde jokes anymore?

American Idol Top 10

Most of my readers don't even care about American Idol, but several have provided pleasant feedback about my assessments in spite of their lack of interest in the show. I am unable to fulfill my self-imposed duty of informing a tiny corner of the internet populace with my opinion of last night's American Idol. Thankfully, my husband shared with me the following article which I will provide here as a substitution for my own words. Most of her opinions echo my own, and the writing is far better than what I could muster today, so please read it and enjoy!

Motown Makes for an Easy Bottom 3 on 'American Idol'
Thursday, March 26, 2009 By Diane Macedo

It was off to Detroit for "American Idol" this week as the Top 10 took a shot at Motown classics. With the theme announced last week, I was expecting it to be great for some contestants and not so great for others. Having seen them perform, I have to say my assessment was correct … I just happened to have my contestants switched.

One of the people I thought would have a hard time this week was Adam Lambert because I was expecting him to come out with some kind of rock-poser version of his Motown hit. Instead he ditched the cotton candy hair and black nail polish and came out looking like Elvis and singing like Smokey Robinson. Simon dubbed it the best performance of the night, as did I.

But that was of course before we’d seen Allison Iraheta kill it on “Papa Was a Rolling Stone.” Allison was another contestant I thought might be hurt by the week’s theme but she showed just how far song choice and soul can take you in this competition. Though I do agree with Paula’s critique from last week: we already know she can rock out with the best of them, it’s time for her to show us that she can sing softly too.

Stepping out of her comfort zone could end up working well for Allison, unlike Paula, who I think stepped a little too far into her comfort zone, and as result catapulted me out of mine. She was crawling under tables; she compared Matt Giraud to a great old pair of jeans; and I’m not sure what she was implying when she told Seacrest she was hiding something ‘under her skirt,’ but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.

Simon had his own little uncomfortable moment telling Megan Corkery that whoever is advising her should be fired. Um … wouldn’t that be the week’s mentor, Smokey Robinson, who was sitting five feet away from him? Awkwarrrrrd. [I, Kristen, completely disagree with the author's comments here, since I can tell the weekly mentors show up the day of performances and provide a few sound bytes...they have little to nothing to do with the contestants' choices and performances.]

Though there were a few moments in there where I thought maybe Smokey should have been fired. It’s like the guy was allergic to criticism. I mean he told both Megan Corkery and Scott MacIntyre to not change a single thing with their performances. I rest my case.

Just once it would be nice to see a mentor flatly tell a contestant that they should stop butchering the melody of a great song (Michael Sarver), or that they shouldn’t sing a certain song and then help them pick a better one – THAT would be some real guidance.

And it’s the kind of guidance that could have done wonders for Lil Rounds. As Kara said, with Motown as the theme, this was supposed to be Lil’s week, but, like Simon said, the soulful diva missed the opportunity to have a real ‘moment’ on the show by picking a song that was way too fast-paced and didn’t give her the opportunity to show off her voice.

So where was Smokey on that one? Too busy telling Lil that she “could sing the phonebook.” Sorry Smokey, they already have a fourth judge.

But I did think that Smokey was spot on when he told Danny Gokey to sing both parts of the verses in “Get Ready.” And after Danny gave this whole speech about how Smokey’s a legend and clearly knows better so he was just going to trust him … he didn’t do it.

How can we motivate mentors to offer advice if we’re going to ignore them when they finally do? Work with me people!

I still liked Danny’s performance though, but not as much as I thought I was going to. Like Lil, I thought Danny was going to really shine this week. And like Lil, he did fine, but fell a little flat. Though despite loving how Matt, Anoop and Adam were flaunting their falsettos, it was nice to hear one of the guys singing like a guy — and doing it well.

Whatever Danny’s flaws they came nowhere near the fumbles of Scott singing “Can’t Hurry Love” (or his performance, unfortunately), Megan howling “For Once in My Life” or Michael managing to ruin may favorite song of the night: “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.”

If American gets it right these will be our bottom three tonight and Michael will finally go home. I just hope this time I don’t have my contestants switched.


by Diane Macedo, original article can be found here.

American Idol Top 11

We've entered unprecedented territory, here folks. It is the second week of the American Idol finals and I'm actually not sure who will prevail in the top five positions. Naturally, the votes are never guaranteed, but it always very clear to me who SHOULD be there. At this stage in the competition, it is at least pretty clear who won't be moving forward, but after a set of stellar performances last night, I'm having trouble just deducing who will go home this week. I have yet to select my own favorite this season because with each performance my opinion shifts and evolves.

Such an admission is made more peculiar by its timing: "Country Week" is historically known to separate the true artists from the bunch who can copy Shania's twang like the rest of us. Like usual, the ones who stood out are those whose performance of a song originally rooted in the genre made me completely forget it might have ever been sung under a cowboy hat.

Certainly the best example of this feat came boldly--but not surprisingly--from Adam Lambert. His dark flamboyance would stick out in Nashville like a drag queen in kindergarten. His Middle Eastern-inspired, sitar-infused rendition of "Ring of Fire" gave me chills! It left the judges feeling somewhere between confused (Kara) and appalled (Simon), but I loved it. You just have to take a taste:



While Adam's performance may have offered a blatant affront to the life's work this week's mentor (Randy Travis suppressed his disapproval respectably), the others who chose not to worship the steel guitar earned rave reviews. Anoop sang "You're Always on my Mind," which may ignite a conspiracy theory involving a stunt double performing last week's "Beat It" trainwreck. His redemption, fully deserved, reminds us why his beautiful voice and sincere disposition are here. Kris Allen sang a Garth Brooks song that I had never heard, but his controlled, straight solo never even hinted at country music. This ballad gave a perfect balance to last week's upbeat performance, showcasing his range of skills. I would suggest that Alison Iraheta take a lesson from Kris, and change it up soon, because we've now seen the same basic act from her three times in a row.

On the other hand, sometimes what ain't broke need not be fixed. Lil Rounds decided to abandon her R&B style and pay homage to the Grand Ole Opry with a slightly twangy Martina McBride number. I dislike country music only slightly less than R&B, but I think she probably would have done more for her cause in the competition (i.e. to win) by appealing to to her fan base. It is important to show a range of skills, as I described above. In fact, I hope Scott MacIntyre will find a way to branch out of his piano-accompanied ballads if he can. But one can't overestimate his or her capabilities (perhaps Alison should keep doing her upbeat rock songs), and people who like Lil are going to like that style. The contestants who thrive tend to use the genre to their advantage without being a completely different singer each week. That unpredictability is more confusing than Adam completely in-character (not to mention impeccably performed) creativity and intensity.

Matt Giraud sounded awesome at the piano again with a song I didn't recognize, and Danny Gokey was right at home on Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel." Unfortunately, the opening verse was rocky; I sensed a disconnect with the band until he opened up at the big chorus. Storytelling songs require varying levels, but the verse needed more support. Danny has been one of the surefire contenders for the finale, but a performance like this among so many outstanding vocals makes me less sure. No matter what happens on American Idol, there are millions of wholesome teens who would rush out and buy his Christian Rock album.

We heard "Jolene" performed last year by another petite blondie, Brooke White, but thankfully Alexis Grace offers us a far superior vocal talent. She remains my favorite of the four females in the competition. Poor little Megan Joy Corkery was afflicted with influenza this week, but you really wouldn't have known it until she started hacking during the judges commentary. I just can't bring myself to enjoy her whiny vocal style and strange inflections as much as the panel seems to. I'll give her unique. But good and unique are not the same in my book.

The one true country boy, Michael Sarver, didn't do himself any favors with "Ain't Goin' Down Till the Sun Comes Up" by Garth Brooks. The jam-packed lyrics demand so much concentration that he couldn't relax and perform the song. And when the words have to be spouted so quickly, the singing gets excruciatingly sloppy. But all the country kids will love it, so even though he went first, I think Michael might be safe. Thus based on the singing, the next person to deserve a ticket home is Lil. Or as the always-proper British judge kept inadvertently calling her, "Little."

American Idol Top 13

Making American Idol history, the judges selected four contestants from last week's Wild Card round to complete the show's first-ever top 13. I would have taken their expansion of the anticipated dozen as a way to get one more week of the big advertisers' bucks, except that no additional show will be aired to make way for Number 13. Instead, we'll be saying farewell to not one, but two contestants during tonight's results show.

This news pleases me. In fact, I wouldn't mind terribly speeding up the elimination process this way for the first few weeks. The standouts who will form the top six typically become apparent early, so the first several weeks of dropping the less-qualified performers can be a tedious process until we reach a group who each equally stand a chance at earning the title. That's when the show gets more interesting, but there are two significant problems with such a plan. One I already mentioned: the big advertisers' bucks. More shows equals more money, and there is no way around that. Secondly, sometimes the best singers do not get the most votes. The reality that your own favorite could be eliminated keeps the anticipation high each week, which is of course what Reality Television is fundamentally based on. It would be unfortunate to lose one of the best because he or she was in second-to-last place one week when the voters got lazy.

An unexpected twist this year is that I'm finding it more difficult to draw the line between those who truly deserve to be singing their finale pick under the fluttering confetti and balloons and those who don't, even this early in the game. I have my personal favorites, yes, but last night nearly every contestant came out fighting for their chance by admittedly singing well. Since all but a slim few have a heartwarming back story, the votes will be difficult to predict. Does most of America relate to the single mothers or the 16-year-old belters? The widower or the vision-impaired? The blue-collared worker or the rocker waiting for his break in LA? Since the performances last night were technically proficient almost across the board, I believe the phones will be dialed according to the pseudo-relationships that the past two months of carefully orchestrated build-up have cultivated.

Which leaves contestants like Matt Giraud and Kris Allen without non-musically-based footing in the competition. They can both sing their butts off (thankfully Matt was given a second chance after his painfully horrid Cold Play rendition), but must survive without the tear-jerking montage which paves the way for so many of the others. In fact, we were made privy to the existence of beautiful Mr. Allen's Mrs. during last night's show, so he rapidly lost some of his appeal as eye candy. No offense to his lovely (and newlywed) wife, but for the sake of his shot at stardom, I believe she should have remained in the shadows for at least a few more shows until the voting public realized that they could love him as much for his vocal talent as they could for the pure enjoyment of seeing his sparkling eyes light up the stage.

Thematic options for the evening were selected from Michael Jackson's musical catalog. Anoop Desai's copycat version of "Beat It" duly received the most criticism. I loved that Paula Abdul seemed excited that she received her first "boo" from the crowd after she explained that this song "belongs to the consummate artist, and anything else sounds karaoke." Her analysis was certainly apt, but "consummate?" I swear Paula has been doing some vocabulary-building exercises, and possibly joined Toastmasters over the summer, because the girl sounds supremely more coherent and professional than she ever has. The change may well have been motivated by some understandable jealousy toward the new, younger, and very well-spoken judge, Kara. Whatever the reason, I like the new intelligible Paula. Now it's Randy Jackson I have to fight the urge to fast-forward over. "You know what I mean, dawg?"

Back to the predictions, Anoop was a head below the rest of the competition in both vocal performance and stage presence. But I wouldn't be too surprised if he survives this round. For one thing, people really like him and he has shown his great voice in the past. Also, people tend to give pity votes to the people who had a rough time or got reamed by the judges. Especially this early when it isn't yet about whose album you actually intend to buy.

More likely, I think we'll hear farewell songs from the talented yet forgettable performers of the night. I would place Lil Rounds, Michael Sarver, and Jasmine Murray at the top of that category. Lil has been touted as one of the best thus far, but not only was her performance incredibly dull, she sang first. During such a lengthy procession, the first one is easy to forget, and she didn't stand out. Plus, anyone who comes home late and picks up the show in the middle missed her entirely, and I doubt she is one who will get votes just because she is Lil Rounds. Which I think is the case for Scott McIntyre (the piano-playing blind man), Danny Gokey (the Christian widower), and Adam Lambert (a darker, yet more effeminate version of David Cook).

I also enjoyed the rockstar-style performances from Alexis Grace and Alison Iraheta, and Megan Joy Corkery's quirky voice actually worked while she sang "Rockin' Robin." Jorge Nunez' version of "Never Can Say Goodbye" would have been perfect in a retirement home's activity lounge, but American Idol would be better off without that level of cheese.

In addition to learning which two individuals are doomed to the ranks of forgotten American Idol hopefuls, a mysterious "change in rules" will reportedly be unveiled tonight. Simon Cowell hinted that it "involves us" (the judges), so shall we assume that the judges have some sort of overruling power if they don't agree with America's votes or something? That would essentially reduce the viewers' role in the contest to nil, so it can't be that. Maybe tonight we'll have a chance to vote for our favorite judge, and the loser has to sing. Or won't be back for Season 9. Hm. We'll see.

Wild Card Dream Team

I believe the Wild Card contestants will be announced tonight on American Idol. These dozen singers have already endured the humiliation and dejection of being sent home, but will come back clinging to one last thread of hope. Hope that they won't have to suffer the same fate again so soon.

These are the people I want to see on the Wild Card show. I hope someone over there at AI pays attention!

1. David Osmond: Yes he is one of them. And yes he does have an unbelievable voice and is pretty easy on the eyes as well. David was cut during the first episode in Hollywood, with no more explanation than a clip showing his sullen face walking off stage. Since we didn't even hear his group's performance, I can only assume he forgot the lyrics (since Simon decreed forgetting the words to be an automatic ticket home). Then when people who hummed half a song or stormed off stage when their mind went blank moved ahead, I had to assume something else was up. I want answers.

2. Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle: I want to see more of this. Entertain us, American Idol!

3. Ricky Braddy: An unknown contestant with a purely pristine voice.

4. Jamar Rogers: I think Danny Gokey's best friend, the one who supported him through his wife's recent passing and demonstrated at least equal talent throughout the competition, was excluded from the top 36 for dramatic effect, heightening the excitement when he is put through on the Wild Card show. That's what I think.

5. Anoop Desai: The performance that sealed his fate was utterly unremarkable, but we've heard his worthy pipes before.

6. Mishavonna Henson: She's cute and she can sing. I'm running out of people I care to see again.

7. Kristen McNamara: Assuming she doesn't move ahead from last night's votes (I haven't watched the show yet).

Those are the people I would actually care to see return for another shot. Here are a few more that I predict will be coming back:

8. Jackie Tohn: This girl's personality grates on my nerves a little, but she would definitely stand out in the crowd. Offering a unique sound is worth a lot in this game. I predict she will be Randy Jackson's pick.

9. Megan Joy Corkery: I hated her song last week. But the judges seem to love her, so I think they will bring her back.

10. Matt Giraud: While his vocals were horrid last week, I know he seriously impressed in Hollywood, so maybe he'll get another shot to prove himself tomorrow.

11. Scott MacIntyre or Jorge Nunez: Whichever of these two doesn't move forward tonight should be called back for the Wild Card show.

12. I wonder if Simon will invite Bikini Girl back to the stage. If that chick defines the word despicable, then one far worse is needed to describe the male judges' encouragement and the female judges' allowance of such a disgrace. American Idol's shameless promotion of the entire spectacle was truly appalling. I would say it did the enterprise a disservice, only I'm sure the wake of press created was well worth a few unread angry letters and feminist internet outcries. Maybe if I ditch a flaming bag of poo on Fox's doorstep the approach might be reconsidered. Hmmm.