Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Six worst movies of 2008

Most of these movies were probably released prior to 2008, but of the movies I watched this year, these were the six worst (without considering any that I couldn't even bear to finish, such as Conversations with Other Women and Monster-in-Law).

1. GOOD LUCK CHUCK: I am continually amazed at the kind of CRAP that passes for a movie. 'How can we take a bunch of footage of a guy having nasty sex and turn it into a full-length feature film?' Who needs a plot or decent acting skill when you have Jessica Alba's face and body on the screen?

2. LUCKY YOU: What was bad: the story, dialogue, acting, direction, and editing. What was good: for about 25 minutes near the end they departed entirely from the horrible sub-plots and focused on an intense poker tournament so I felt more like we were watching ESPN than the awful movie.

3. NEXT: Very interesting concept, with plot holes big enough to drive a semi-truck through. Disappointing.

4. LICENSE TO WED: One of an overpopulated movie genre that is painfully frustrating to watch. Characters involved in situations no one would put up with in real life and which have a very simple solution that the protagonists inexplicably cannot figure out.

5. CRANK: This could have been labeled Speed 3; this time his body is the bus. For action-movie lovers, you might not be able to beat 90 minutes of a guy forced to keep his adrenaline pumping, but the relentless intensity lost its appeal without a good storyline to ground it.

6. THE INVASION: Really, really bad. If the cheesy zombie-movie plot weren't enough, the filmmakers over-exerted themselves in trying to emphasize a political/existential point about the human race. Also, instead of letting the audience react to the story as it unfolds, they kept using lame dialogue and camera angles to reiterate the obvious.


Bridget said...

Do you mean that Crank was literally Speed 3? Or is that just your assessment?

The only two I've seen are Next and The Invasion. Next sucked, as we've already discussed somewhere on here, but I have to admit, I kind of liked The Invasion. Maybe I don't see enough movies.

Kristen said...

Just my assesment. I will edit the text to clarify.

The Invasion was terrible! Here's an example of a glaring mistake: Mom is alone with her child among blood-thirsty zombies in an abandoned store. She hears some groaning from within a room labeled "Employees Only" but which is BOLTED FROM THE OUTSIDE. No restricted area would be locked from the OUTSIDE instead of the inside. Then she tells her son to "wait here" (alone in the store while zombies still lurk everywhere while she goes INSIDE the room full of zombies waking up). Who would do that?


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