How to potty train your child in (about) three days

In some ways I wish I had some hilarious escapade to report from our weekend of potty training. A fierce battle of wills, disastrous or comical accidents, emotional breakdowns...these stories would make for far better entertainment than my simple report that it worked.

Last Saturday, when she donned her first pair of tiny turquoise underwear covered in pink kitties and purple doggies, Madelyn was exactly 2 years, 3 weeks, and 6 days old. She was aware of the potty, and had even sat on it a few times in the past, but other than that we intentionally did not make any effort to encourage her to use it until our potty training blitz began last weekend.

I hope you will read (or even re-read) my deliberations on the impending matter of potty training that I wrote in November. Of course I wasn't contemplating whether or not to potty train Madelyn, just how soon to begin, and whether life without diapers would be superior to our comfortable routine with them. While those questions remained, I was pleased to have stumbled upon a potty training method which I discovered was principally in line with my instinctual beliefs on the matter. Some of my opinions which were supported in this program, and which remain intact afterward are:

• You can't force a child to go to the bathroom
• The child must have accidents in order to learn
• The accidents won't be effective in a diaper, pull-up, or padded training underwear
• "Gradual" potty training is confusing and sends mixed signals to the child
• Allowing the child to wear a diaper at night sends mixed signals too
• It is important to transfer the responsibility of going to the bathroom to the child
• Setting the child on the toilet at regular intervals won't help her learn when she's about to go or how to hold it when she's not near the bathroom
• Asking if she needs to go potty might trigger obstinance from a stubborn child
• Positive reinforcement is always better than anger or punishment
• Bribery may be effective, but isn't the best way to learn for the long-term

While I had some gut feelings about what I did not want to do, I wasn't about to go through trial and error to figure out the right way. As I stated previously, I wanted the proverbial instruction manual to guide me step by step to success. Lora Jensen's 3 Day Potty Training provided exactly the manual I sought.

I'll interject here that while the reasoning we followed was successful, I don't intend to be smug. Every child will learn how to use the bathroom one way or another. There just aren't many eight-year-olds walking around in diapers, because sooner or later they figure it out, in spite of what the parents did or did not do along the way. There are plenty of potty training methods, books, videos, magazine articles, and testimonials from friends that have proven effective. What I found in this method were guidelines that were compatible with my personal philosophies on potty training, the instructions to accomplish it in a focused period of time, and the confidence that Madelyn could be successful. I admit I have to resist the urge to get on my soapbox when I listen to other parents share tales of potty training misery, though.

I scheduled the three days on my calendar in advance so that there would be no interruptions. I purchased the necessary supplies (about 25 pairs of underwear, lots of appealing beverages, some little rewards, etc.), and read over the e-book again, making my own summary of the main points for easy reference. I am lucky enough to have a husband who was not only available, but also interested in participating in the potty training process. We were on the same page before we began, and tag-teamed the effort.

At the end of Day One, Madelyn went to bed in her 17th pair of underwear. This didn't bother me, because the first half of the day Madelyn was getting into the rhythm of new expectations and new sensations, and we were learning her communication signals. By the afternoon, we were already making progress having gained valuable knowledge from the morning's experience.

On Day Two, Madelyn went to bed in her third pair of underwear. This equates to having had only two accidents, and one was during her nap. I can confidently say that Madelyn understood how to go to the bathroom in the toilet during the day within 24 hours of beginning potty training. Madelyn's favorite reward was unrestricted access to a Valentine's Day rubber stamp, which I allowed her to "boop boop" on her arms and bare legs after a successful run to the potty with dry underwear.

I am happy to report that we didn't have a single "poopy" accident. Madelyn just didn't have a bowel movement on the first day, and by the second day she understood the concept well enough that she just did it in the potty without any trouble. I understand some children have a fear of going poop in the toilet, or for other reasons parents have a harder time getting their kids to learn that part. But for some reason, Madelyn didn't seem to differentiate between number one and number two when it came time to go. I am thrilled that we didn't have to deal with any traumatic experiences OR messy clean-ups!

Nights and naps have been a bit more of a challenge, yet I still do not regret our decision to get rid of the diapers cold turkey, day and night. Yes, we have had to groggily change the sheets several times this week. But following the suggestions Ms. Jensen outlines in her e-book, we are steadily making progress and have already had four completely dry nights out of the eight since we started. I believe the worst thing we could do at this point is to put a diaper back on in an effort to reclaim a few minutes of shut-eye. Moving forward with consistency and encouragement is helping Madelyn understand and improve.

During the last few days our confidence in Madelyn's new skill has grown, and we aren't by her side every moment of the day, as we were last weekend. A couple of times today I discovered her in the bathroom by herself, taking care of business without having even called for us. She does still need assistance once the business is done, so we're never very far.

If I am making this all sound too good to be true, let me correct that assumption. This method takes dedication, focus, and patience. We had accidents. We got frustrated. We wondered if we were right to potty train so soon. We have to wake up in the middle of the night to take her to the bathroom, and sometimes change the sheets. It is not easy, but it does work. I feel that a few days of dedication to the cause is far more bearable than months of on-and-off training or struggling against a child's stubborn resolve.

I have been contemplating our decision to potty train Madelyn at just barely 25 months of age. On that first difficult day, my husband and I quietly wondered if it was the right thing to do. After observing her triumphantly conquer this challenge however, I feel as though I have given my daughter a gift. By allowing her the opportunity to master an important skill, of which she was obviously capable, I believe we have nurtured her confidence and self-awareness. Why delay realization of potential? Plus, we are excited for Madelyn to start Montessori school next fall, and now the potty training is done. Finished! We won't have to worry about it again!

Until another baby comes along, and then it will just be a matter of picking the three days. We'll already have the courage to do it.