Six reasons I am not a real runner

In no particular order...

1. I cannot fathom purchasing five different pairs of running shoes in one calendar year, as I heard my good friend/serious runner claim.

2. I have yet to experience the "second wind" or "runner's high." At least not to an extent that makes me thrilled to be running. My runs are more of one big "wall," and a sideache is my frequent companion.

3. I do not own any cool running gear. I sport either yoga pants or shorts with a Curves T-shirt on most runs, and feel pretty lame next to my more fashionable running counterparts. But now that I know at least one person's secret, I think I'll be hitting the Goodwill to score some sweet duds (cast away by good-intentioned quitters).

4. Long-distance running is time-consuming, and time is an element of which I have little to spare. I've been spoiled with a 30-minute total-body workout, and while Curves won't provide the same level of endurance training as running, it feels good to burn about 500 calories in just half an hour. Since running doesn't tone the whole body, it won't ever be my sole form of exercise, which leaves even less time to get it done.

5. Shoes are the serious runner's most important piece of equipment, so I understand and respect the necessity of keeping them in top working condition for the sport. But I don't see myself ever being involved to the extent that I would track miles run on a pair of shoes and limit that number for the sake of performance.

6. Perhaps all those reasons are merely symptoms of this confession: I do not aspire to run a marathon one day. If I change my mind as I get into better shape, then so be it. For now, the mere idea of running 26.2 miles seems like a really popular form of masochism. I will enthusiastically cheer for my racing friends, and join them for enchiladas beyond the finish line. Maybe if I am nice enough, they will do the same for me at my 10k's.